


These Memories Have Teeth

by FestiveFerret



Series: These Memories Have Teeth [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Abused Vampire Bucky, Alternate Universe, Angst, Blood, Caregiver!Tony, Fear, Flirting, Happy Ending, Healing, Hospital, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Abuse, Recovery, Sexual Tension, Sort Of, Vampire Rehab Facility, Vampire!Bucky, Vampires, Vampirism as a disease, references to slavery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-07-27 16:07:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 32,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20048803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FestiveFerret/pseuds/FestiveFerret
Summary: Tony had stopped trying to convince himself he didn't have a thing for vampires a long time ago. Of course he did, that was why he was drawn to them, had ended up here, helping, and if that thing occasionally wandered into fantasy territory, even fantasies about his charges, well, he never acted on them so it hardly mattered. James, here, seemed destined to test that resolve with every atom of his being.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This one doesn't have a set update schedule, it'll just be happening now and again, in between my other projects. This is as self-indulgent as they come! Hope you enjoy it :D
> 
> Thanks as always to ashes0909 for beta!
> 
> Now with amazing art by [massivespacewren!](https://massivespacewren.tumblr.com/post/186821299083/are-you-scared-i-got-inspired-and-did-a-super)

Tony watched the man pace back and forth across the small room, his dark hair blocking any view of his face. Both hands were curled into fists, knuckles white and veins popping in his forearms under the pressure. His left was criss-crossed with glittery, silver lines swirling up and disappearing into the short sleeve of his t-shirt. He looked dirty, cold, and underfed.

Tony pressed a button, and the man startled up when the screen lit up next to the door. "Can I come in?" Tony asked. "My name is Dr. Tony Stark. I'm a caregiver here."

The man stared blankly at the screen for a long moment, his face giving nothing away, then nodded slowly.

Tony typed in a code and the door unlocked. He pressed through it, then closed it tightly behind him, the lock audibly re-engaging. 

The man stared at him.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he finally growled out, shoulders tensing up around his ears. His eyes flicked away towards the wall of glass along his left side. It was dark now, but Tony knew it had lit up when they'd first brought him in, revealing people behind it, evaluating. 

Tony gestured towards the glass. "Oh that? Nah, I prefer to get up and close with my patients. Why? Do you feel like you're going to hurt me?"

The man swallowed then stepped back until his shoulders hit the wall. He stopped. "I don't know yet."

"That's fair. Totally valid. You don't know me from Adam. Don't want to make promises you might not be able to keep. I like that. Honorable."

The man flinched a little at Tony's words, but kept himself pressed up against the wall.

Tony sat on the edge of the cot the man hadn't touched and pulled out a tablet. He opened the man's file. "So what would make you want to hurt me? What sorts of things could I do that would make you feel unsafe enough that you'd do that?"

The man blinked at him, swallowed again. "You could… hurt me first..."

"Yup, good. Not going to do that, so no problem there." Tony nodded. "What else?"

"Threaten to hurt me… come too close. Touch - touch -"

Tony turned a calculating eye on him. "Touch? Specific touch or all touch?"

"Uninvited touch," the man replied carefully.

"Duly noted." Tony jotted it down in the file. He was the only one who was likely to look at it, and his memory was pretty close to perfect, but it was only science if he took notes and they were already on the edge of what really counted as valid here. Always on the edge. "Anything else?"

The man shook his head then shrugged, as if leaving the question open for expansion later.

"Okay, well, I'd appreciate a heads up if you feel the need to hurt me. Just a little warning, so I can stop whatever I'm doing." Tony waited for a nod, then went on. "What do you want me to call you?"

"Excuse me?"

"Do you have a name? A name you want me to use?"

The man was silent for a long time. "James?"

"Okay, James." Tony tapped it in and the file name changed from a serial number to the name. "Perfect. Thank you. Do you know why you're here?"

James growled long and low. "I don't even know where here is."

"Oh… right. Usually we have time for more of a conversation but I understand your… recovery was an unusual one." Tony set the tablet aside and folded his hands in front of him. "This is a rehab facility for vampires."

James' eyes snapped up to Tony's, going wide with fear. "What?"

"It's okay. That's not a euphemism. We really are. We take in vampires and rehabilitate them. Clean them up and teach them to manage the symptoms. We help with legal fees and representation if they're in trouble. Most of our intake comes out of the justice system, in one way or another."

James observed him quietly for a moment, piercing blue eyes peeking out of the curtain of dark hair. "How is that… possible?"

"Well…" Tony coughed lightly. "It's not entirely legal. Not all of what we do. We operate on grant funding as a research facility and donations from a few very wealthy interested parties. And then some of what we do is under the radar. But it's important. It's worth the risk."

"Okay."

Tony nodded. "Good. So you…" he flipped through the file even though he'd already read it, and his stomach churned once again at the horror. "You were… detained…"

"I was owned," James said firmly. "I was a pet."

"Yes. Your… keeper was arrested and failed to make bail. He's currently in custody and all of his belongings are being processed by the police. He had many such -" Tony's stomach lurched again "- _ pets _and some of them were handled by the police, some by animal control. We snatched you before another party could become interested. It's not legal to keep a vampire like that."

James snorted. "Not for the vampire's protection."

"No… not for the vampire's protection. Unfortunately. But that doesn't make it any less illegal. Also, we _ are _for the vampire's protection. Do you believe that?"

"I don't know." James shook his head slowly back and forth.

"Okay, that's okay. I'm not going to ask you to trust me, and certainly not all at once, but I will appreciate you telling me what you need, letting me know if I've earned any trust and if I've mistakenly violated it. If you're honest with me, I'll be honest with you."

James' head quirked towards Tony. "Honest? You'll tell me the truth if I ask you something?"

"To the best of my ability, yes."

"Are you scared?" James grinned and turned his head a little into the light. It wasn't a smile that came with laughter or delight. It was a smile designed to show teeth, and show, it did. His long canines gleamed, dirty from lack of care but dangerously sharp and unbreakably strong. Tony had seen a smile like that before, and it never failed to steal his breath.

[](massivespacewren.tumblr.com)

"Yes," he answered succinctly. "Every time."

That seemed to soothe James a bit, who folded his lips back over his deadly weapons and slumped further against the wall. "Good."

"I've been assigned to your case. I don't always do things like my colleagues do. I like to push boundaries. It's gotten me hurt before, and yes, I was scared then too. But I get good results and I deal well with vamps who've had a tough go of it, so I took your case. Here's how it works. We'll feed and house you. We'll move you to a private room without the glass wall. You'll have everything you need in your space, but to stay in our program, you need to stay here until you're signed off on. If you ask to leave, we'll let you leave, but any trouble you get in after that is your problem. We have a one strike system. We'll treat your infection -" Tony gestured towards the shiny metallic lines painting James' arm "- and we'll teach you how to manage your vampirism. And we'll help you get a head start when you leave here. We have connections to employers who hire vampires who have gone through our program. Does that sound good?"

James looked at him intensely eyes narrowing as he sized Tony up. Tony knew that if James started to move towards him, he wouldn't have time to get back through the door. He'd just be dead.

Then James shrugged and leaned his head back against the wall behind him. "Sounds like I don't really have another choice."

**

Tony knocked on the door and waited for James' quiet, "Come in," then disengaged the lock and pushed inside. It locked again behind him.

James was sitting on the floor of his new suite, but the sheets on the bed were mussed, which was a good sign. The untouched tray of food in the corner wasn't.

"Not hungry? You know, it's a myth that vampires can subsist on blood alone."

James' expression twitched but didn't resolve into something readable. "Not hungry," he said lightly.

"Okay. Well, let me know if there's something different we can bring you that might kickstart that appetite."

James muttered something low to himself that sounded a lot like "Not likely," but Tony didn't write it down, just filed it in his mind.

"Do you mind if I come closer?"

James' lip curled up at the corner. "Aren't you afraid?"

"Sure, but that's never stopped me from doing something stupid before. If you don't want me to, I can stay over here. But I'd like to see your arm. That infection looks really bad. It's gotta hurt."

"I can take the pain," James grumbled.

"Oh, I don't doubt it," Tony said, grinning when James shot him a look at the patronizing tone. Tony softened his voice. "You don't have to, though."

James seemed to think on that for a long time. "You can come closer," he finally said, pointedly not agreeing to anything beyond that.

Tony stood and took a few steps closer then sat down on the floor, about halfway across the room. He watched as James' eyes cut to the bathroom door, then to the locked main door, and then back to Tony. Tony shuffled a little to the left, leaving more space between him and James' sightlines to escape. To Tony's surprise, James sighed and rolled his eyes. "Come here." He pointed at a spot by his hip. "You can't see my arm from there, can you?"

"Not very well, no," Tony admitted. He picked up his tablet again and took the last few steps across the room before sinking back down to his knees at James' side. James' whole body tensed up, muscles going smooth and firm under his pale, grey skin. 

His left arm was a mess of blood infection, each vein a sharp, silvery grey, almost metallic against the matte marble of his skin. James shoved his shirt sleeve up to his shoulder then rolled his arm out, palm up, so Tony could see the bite that had caused it. It was big and deep, on the meat of his inner forearm, just below the elbow. Two cavernous puncture wounds from long, pointed canines, then a row of top and bottom teeth. It weeped metallic pus and the skin was black in places, putrid and gangrenous. Infection moved slowly in vampires; the bite had to have been from at least a month ago. He would have been in pain the whole time.

And they'd only taken in one vamp from the raid, which meant - "The one that bit you?" Tony asked, not moving any closer, as much as he longed to touch.

"She died," James said coolly, hand clenching into a fist then releasing. But his shoulders curved away, almost afraid, like Tony was going to judge him for her death. 

"Okay," Tony said, carefully, levelly. "That infection is very bad. It will kill you, eventually, and you're not too far off from losing the arm. I can treat it, maybe save the arm, definitely save your life, and stop the pain. But I'll have to touch you to do that. And it might hurt."

James dropped his eyes to his lap. "You should probably just let it kill me."

Fear coiled in Tony's chest, hot and twisted. "If that's what you want," he said, as gently and as steadily as he could manage, "there are less painful ways to do that, too."

James looked up at him sharply, calculating, then he seemed to relax a little, his fist unclenching. "You can touch it, I guess. But if we're being honest here, I don't know how I'll react. I don't - I haven't - I haven't been touched much. Ever."

Tony nodded. "Alright. That's okay. We can start slow. You just need to know that you move much, much faster than me, even malnourished, and you're much stronger. If you want me to stop, you don't need to hurt me. You can overpower me easily. I know that can be hard to remember, but it's true." Tony lifted one arm. "I'm string cheese. I've got nothing on you, big guy."

James snorted out a half-laugh, and Tony took it as a win.

"I'm going to go get some supplies. I'll be right back." Tony stood, turning his back to James as he did, even as his heart pounded in his chest. He walked out, the silence behind him only making the hairs on the back of his neck prickle. It wasn't like James couldn't be right behind him; he could move as quietly as an owl taking flight.

Tony had left a kit just outside the door, fairly confident in what he'd need, so all he had to do was grab it. He also took a blood bag from the fridge and popped it in the microwave for a few seconds, then took the kit and the bag back into James' room, squishing the bag as he walked to make sure it was evenly warm. James' eyes snapped to the bag and his eyes narrowed, even as his mouth slipped open and his tongue prodded one of his long canines.

"I thought you got people off that stuff here," he huffed out, still staring.

Tony walked confidently to his side and sat down, even closer than before. "I said we help you manage your symptoms. Blood intake is part of that management. Once you're healthy, we can talk about options. For now, this is willingly donated human blood."

"Who donates it?"

"We all do. Everyone who works here and is able to."

James turned bright eyes on Tony. "So it might be yours?"

Tony shook his head. "Uh no. For obvious reasons, we make sure to cross-donate."

But a small furrow appeared in James' forehead and he leaned in towards Tony, nostrils flaring. "You smell funny."

"I'm wearing a fuckton of peppermint antiperspirant. I'm not an idiot."

That got a proper laugh out of James, and Tony grinned back. "I've - uh - I knew about the peppermint, but antiperspirant?"

Tony popped open the first aid kit and started laying out his supplies. "Yeah. I know that when you smell a human, it smells like blood to you, but most of what you smell is actually sweat, lactic acid and some other compounds. Mammaly things. We do everything we can to be less appealing. Eat certain foods, wear scents, antiperspirant, etc. Can't stop it all, but it makes it a little easier to breathe around me, doesn't it?"

James tilted his head to the side. "No. I mean, I'm used to it. I've spent most of my time around humans I wasn't allowed to bite. I don't mind the smell." He leaned in even closer, until his shoulder was almost touching Tony's, and breathed in again. Then he rumbled, so low, Tony was pretty sure the observation mics wouldn't even be able to hear it, "I can still smell your blood, anyway."

Tony opened his mouth to correct him, but the words wouldn't come out. Either James lacked the fear that usually overwhelmed new intakes, or he was displaying it in a different way. Either way, Tony was somewhat swimming in the deep end without a life jacket, here. They'd never had an intake that had been kept as a pet, as a prize, to show off, like a circus animal, and he didn't know the details of what he'd been through, what James would need. But for now, he could focus on his arm. "It'll be easiest -" he croaked out, making James chuckle. He cleared his throat, tried again. "It'll be easiest if you hold your arm out over this basin, but I can do it with it up against your body too, if you're more comfortable that way."

James merely extended his arm, laying it over the small, metal basin Tony had placed at his side. Tony reached out and adjusted the basin so it was directly under the worst of the bite. He picked up the blood bag, gave it another slosh, then took out a bottle and a needle. James tensed. 

"I'm not giving you a shot. It goes in the blood. Antibiotics, essentially. It'll fight back the infection." He made a show of drawing a dose out of the bottle, then pushing the tip of the needle into the bag. He injected it all, then mixed up the blood some more and screwed a hose and nozzle to the end of it. He lay the bag on the floor by James' hip then offered him the end of the nozzle. "You have to suck to make it come out. And you have to drink it all to get the full dose. This is a small bag, in case too much makes you nauseous, but I can get you more if you need it."

James hesitated.

Tony dropped his voice low, leaned in a little. "I promise it won't make you feel weird, maybe just happy-full. The only drug in it is the medicine for your arm and you won't feel that at all."

James reached out for the nozzle, and as he took it, he curled his firm, cool fingers around Tony's, sliding the nozzle out of his hand. Tony's breath caught, and he tried to clear it with a little cough. He hadn't expected James to touch him so soon, hadn't expected to feel skin-to-skin contact today, if ever. He hastily tugged a pair of gloves out of the kit and snapped then on while James shoved the nozzle in his mouth and started to suck, the bag slowly curling in on itself as he drank. His eyes flushed immediately, pupils blowing black and the thin line of iris warming from an ice grey to a bright, sapphire blue. The whites took on a pink glow and a soft moan slipped out from between his lips where they wrapped tightly around the nozzle.

"Well," Tony said, more to himself than to James. "Good that you're enjoying that. I'll just -" He gently adjusted James' arm again, then took a bottle with a squirt end out of the kit. He held it close over the wound and squeezed, saline coming out in a smooth stream to wash the dirt and crusted blood away. Tony steadied James' arm with two gentle fingers on the inside of his wrist, and he could feel the slow crawl of his vampiric heartbeat under them: one beat for every ten of Tony's. Maybe twenty, with the way his was thudding along.

James was rock steady while Tony worked, his arm statue-still, and the only sound from him, the steady sucking of the blood from the bag. Tony could taste the coppery residue in the air - or maybe it was only his imagination. He wondered whose blood it was, and, for the first time, almost wished they didn't do cross-donation. He wanted to take care of James himself, in every way. He was a caregiver, he always felt that way, but it was stronger this time, dug deeper. After ten years of working here, this was going to be the case that turned everything he knew on its head, he could tell.

Tony huffed out a sharp breath to get himself to focus, and went back to work. After the rinse, he took a pair of tweezers and a cotton ball dipped in specially formulated antiseptic and worked his way around the bite, digging into the tooth holes as much as he dared, and getting a better look at what he was dealing with. The wound had festered and went almost down to the bone in places now. He needed to clean away the dead and dying flesh, even if it meant leaving a horrible scar. That was another thing people didn't know: vampires could, and did, scar. It just took a lot. Tony had seen some very, very bad ones.

Tony threw all the used cotton balls into a biohazard bag and took out a small tin. "These are nanomaggots," he said, and James startled so violently, the nozzle popped out of his mouth. 

"What did you say?" He picked the nozzle up again and locked it between his teeth, but he didn't suck. His eyes narrowed at Tony.

"They're nanomaggots. Look, the best way to clean a wound like this, with all this dead flesh, is to use maggots. But most people, vampires included, take issue to that - fair enough - so I developed a little tech version. They're basically tiny robots that want nothing more than to nibble away at everything bad in your arm. When they're done, we'll take them off and see what we're working with." He sighed. "The other option is surgery. I'd have to knock you out. It would take a whole team, and we'd probably end up having to take off your whole lower arm. But if that's what you'd prefer, I can set that up."

James rumbled low in his chest and rolled his eyes. "Of course I want the stupid robot bugs, Stark." He chewed the blood nozzle. "How much does it hurt?"

"Oh, no. It won't hurt at all. They only eat dead flesh. Dead flesh doesn't feel pain."

James winced. "All of me is dead flesh," he said, and the, _ and I still feel pain, _lay unspoken between them.

Tony rested his hand over James' arm, just above his elbow. He hoped the warmth from his skin was seeping through the glove. "That's not true. You're alive. You have a heartbeat. You need to breathe, to eat. You're not dead. You're just… living differently."

James snorted out another laugh. "Is that the careful way to say it these days? In my day, they just called us morgue meat."

"Jesus Christ." Tony curled a lip. "No one says _ that _anymore. Not even assholes. Anyway, I'm going to prove it to you." He shook the tin. "If I'm right, they'll only eat those nastly blackened bits -" he pointed to James' arm. "If you're right, well -" he shrugged "- guess they'll eat all of you!"

James' lips twitched up in a smile then he dropped his gaze down to the floor. He sucked lightly at the blood bag and Tony shot it a glance. It was almost empty. Tony sprayed more antiseptic over James' arm then shook the little tin out over it. The nanobots landed like glitter down over the wound, marking the covered area with bright multi-colours. Tony pressed a thick wad of gauze over the whole wound then wrapped around and around with another roll of thin gauze and taped it off. He patted James' arm lightly. "All done."

James flexed his hand then curled his arm up, settling it across his lap and leaning back away from Tony. 

"Try not to move it around too much. We don't want the wrap coming off so the bots stay where they should be. I'll leave the tape in your bathroom in case it comes unstuck." Tony took the tape and the basin of dirty saline to the bathroom. He tucked the tape in a drawer and dumped the basin down the sink. 

Back out in the main room, James had tidied up the kit, putting the tool and supplies back in the case. Tony shut it right away, pointedly not taking the time to note whatever James had taken. He could steal, and, maybe one day, he'd learn to ask.

"Do you want another blood bag?" Tony gathered up the empty one.

James shook his head. "Not now." His gaze had gone far away and his slump was more pronounced. Tony crouched down next to him, eyes narrowed. The blood-flush had left his eyes already, his body so desperate for the nutrients that it had absorbed them almost instantly.

"Tired?" he asked softly.

"I don't know." James flexed and unflexed his hand, making the shimmery lines of infection glitter in the light.

"Do you want me to go?"

James swallowed. "Yes. Sorry."

"No, it's okay. You just ask for what you want. I'll be back tomorrow to check in and give you another dose of antibiotics. If you want blood or more food or anything at all, just ask. I don't think you'll be surprised to find this place is pretty heavily monitored." Tony cleared his throat. "If you're in the bathroom, though, make sure you ask loudly. There's no cameras or mics in there."

James eyes snapped up to his, wide. "Okay," he said slowly.

"Okay." Tony's hand reached out of its own accord and hovered there. He wanted to touch, but he wouldn't without asking, and it felt odd to ask to touch for no reason other than to give comfort. Especially when he wasn't entirely sure the comfort in question was for James.

He pulled his hand back, took the untouched lunch tray and his kit, and left.

**

The next morning, Tony wasn't sure what he'd find. After review, it turned out, James had taken a scalpel, a large pair of tweezers, and a big wad of gauze from the kit when Tony'd been out of the room, but Tony's emergency pager hadn't gone off in the night, so that was a good sign. He checked in with security but there were no reports, so either James hadn't tried whatever he was going to do, or he'd succeeded in doing it without alerting anyone.

Tony knocked then opened the door, letting it fall shut with its audible click behind him. "Good morning."

James was lying on the floor this time, his left leg bent up and his right out straight. He had his hands folded over his face. The tray from breakfast was still in the chute, untouched. He grumbled something noncommittal.

"Can I come closer?" Tony asked.

"You don't have to ask every damn time," James growled.

Tony crossed the room and stood at James' side, looking down at him. James didn't meet his eye. "Woke up on the wrong side of the floor this morning?" Tony asked brightly, and James peeled one hand back to glare at him with one eye. Tony dropped to sit cross-legged at his right side. "Can I touch your wrist?"

James hesitated for a moment then offered his right wrist before lifting his left too and looking at Tony quizzically. 

"Right is good."

It flopped right over into Tony's lap, across his knee, and James dropped his left on the other side.

Tony tried not to say _ Oh _because that was - well that was pretty damn comfortable, which was pretty damn unusual amongst vampires at all, let alone rescued ones. They formed almost pack bonds, or more like pair bonds in this unforgiving society, but not with humans. Working with vamps always made Tony feel more like an outsider than anything else, but he wouldn't give it up for the world. He closed his fingers around James' wrist and shuddered at his smooth, cool skin. They were both silent for a long time as Tony counted off beats. When he had calculated a heart rate - which was okay, not great, but okay - he counted James' breaths as well, keeping his fingers wrapped around his wrist.

"How's your other arm?" he asked softly when he'd noted down his findings one handed. He gently folded James' right arm over his own stomach and left it there, missing its solid weight on his thighs already.

"Fine. You were right - doesn't hurt."

"Good." Tony grabbed the corner of the food tray and dragged it over. "You still not hungry? Or you don't like eggs? Because these look really good."

"I don't like -" he cut himself off.

"Go on. I can order something different. Even if it's super weird - our chefs here are amazing. You want calamari for breakfast? A burger? That crazy cheese that's full of bugs?"

"Ew, god, Stark." James finally opened his eyes and curled his lip at Tony. "No."

'What is it then?"

"I don't -" he sighed, then shook himself. "I don't like the way it makes me feel, okay. Stupid, Drowsy. I don't like food. I avoid it if I can help it."

Tony narrowed his eyes at James, probably tilting his head like a puppy asked a high-pitched question. "What?"

"What?"

"Food makes you feel… stupid?"

"Yeah." He sat up, preternaturally fast, making Tony flinch away without meaning to. James didn't comment. He gestured towards the food tray. "It makes you dopey. When you eat… food. When a vampire… eats…" he swallowed, looking at Tony in desperate confusion instead of annoyed confusion. "It's - doesn't it?"

Realization dawned, and Tony brought his hand up to cover his mouth. He let out a slow breath between his fingers. "That's how they drugged you," he said softly. "To keep you calm, pliable. It wasn't in your blood, it was in your food. We knew they must have. You were so hopped up when we found you, I'm not sure you even remember the raid, but I just assumed it was in the blood, or they were injecting it directly…" Tony's stomach rolled but he forced himself to take a piece of toast from the tray and shoved it in his mouth, chewing briskly. "I'll show you," he said, once he'd swallowed. "I'll eat this and then you can see how not-drowsy I am and then maybe we can share the next one."

James' grin bloomed slow and predatory. "Oh yeah? How are you going to show me you're not drowsy?" He leaned in dangerously close, and Tony felt fuses popping and frying in his brain. God this guy just exuded sex appeal, even overly-thin and injured, he bled charisma, and that smile… Tony had stopped trying to convince himself he didn't have a thing for vampires a long time ago. Of course he did, that was why he was drawn to them, had ended up here, helping, and if that thing occasionally wandered into fantasy territory, even fantasies about his charges, well, he never acted on them so it hardly mattered. James, here, seemed destined to test that resolve with every atom of his being.

"I'd say we could wrestle," Tony managed to get out, not too roughly, "but I think all that would prove is that I am the aforementioned string cheese and you'd peel me without even trying." Fuck, that sounded so damn flirty.

James laughed. He reached out and picked a square of melon off the tray then held it out to Tony. Tony's brain told him to lean forward and take it from James' fingers with his lips, but he made himself grab it and put it in his mouth himself. James picked up the next piece and popped it in his own mouth. "I guess we can share this one."

Tony leaned on one hand and smiled around a bite of eggs. "Have I earned a little trust then?" he asked cheekily.

"I suppose. A little."

"Okay, well then I'm going to spend it on a promise."

"Trust doesn't work like money, Stark."

"It can work however we want it to." Tony ate another piece of toast and smiled to himself when James started scooping up eggs with his fork. "So my promise is this: I'm not going to let anyone else come through that door. I'm not going to let anyone else touch you. If you can trust me, even just a little bit, that's all I'm going to ask of you. You don't have to extend that to anyone else. I have an emergency pager. If you need someone and I'm not here, you can ask for me, and they'll find me and bring me here. Okay?"

James tore the last piece of toast, cold now, into small pieces. "What if you're sleeping?"

"I'll still come."

He grinned. "What if you're on a date?"

That made Tony chuckle. "Not been much of an issue lately. But I'd come anyway."

"It's really just going to be you?"

"Yup. Unless you want someone else, of course. If you get bored of me or I piss you off too much." Tony leaned in close and pushed the nearly-empty tray away. "I'm here to help you - whatever you need. My goal is to make you feel like this is a win, whatever that means for you. We can talk later, about goals, about reintegrating, but for as long as you want, this is a safe, clean, healthy place to stay. And I'm here for you." Boldly, stupidly, Tony reached out and gently poked at James' chest to emphasize his point, but James caught his hand before he touched his shirt. He didn't squeeze or push Tony's hand away, just held it loosely in his grip.

"Okay," he finally said, softly.

Tony cleared his throat and tried to clear his brain of the heavy fog James had poured over it. He pulled his hand back and picked up his tablet. "Okay, James. I'm going to order some more food and a blood bag for you."

"Bucky."

"What?"

"That's what my friends called me. The rare times I had any. Bucky. So you can. If you want."

Tony beamed at him, but James - Bucky - had closed his eyes again and didn't open them.

"Alright, Bucky, let's get you fed."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure you look at the [amazing art massivespacewren](https://massivespacewren.tumblr.com/post/186821299083/are-you-scared-i-got-inspired-and-did-a-super) did for chapter one!!

Four days after Tony had put the nanomaggots on, it was time to take off the bandages and see how they'd done. He and Bucky spent most of the time hanging out in silence, eating, or Bucky sucking on a blood nozzle while Tony talked idly to him about nothing of import. This was the part Tony always struggled with the most. He wanted to move, to progress, to ask questions and see results, but there was always a quiet phase of the recovery, a time to rest, to feel safe, to find strength again. Bucky was going to need it with what they were going to go through.

Tony brought his medical kit in. "Morning, Bucko," he called out, shutting the door behind him while making sure not to tip his steaming coffee cup over. "Sorry, I'm a hot mess this morning."

Bucky looked up from where he'd been lounging on the bed with a book and raised an eyebrow at Tony. "You look like a hot mess this morning."

"Wow, thank you. Just what I needed to hear." Tony dumped the medical kit by the bed and sat down at the foot of it, sipping his coffee with a happy sigh. "Had an emergency call in the night. Slept in. Had to rush here."

Bucky sat up and tossed his book aside. He was filling out a bit, getting stronger, looking more like a person and less like a bag of bones. "What was the emergency?"

Tony raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you sure you want to know?"

"Yeah."

"A vamp was arrested for starting a fight in a bar and biting someone. He ripped a huge chunk out of the guy's shoulder. We got him out on bail and we're holding him and getting a lawyer in place."

Bucky pondered that visibly for a while. "What's going to happen to him?"

Tony sighed. "I honestly don't know. I don't do much on the legal side of things. I do medical and R&D. Sometimes I have to testify. It depends. It depends on a lot of things. If the guy he attacked gets turned… or dies."

"But he might get wiped?" Bucky asked softly.

Tony shrugged again. "Maybe. I don't know. We'll try and prevent that. We have an entire sub-group entirely devoted to trying to turn over the death penalty for vampires. They're making some progress… slowly." He rubbed his hand through his hair. It felt greasy and dry at the same time. "In lighter news, it's time to see how much of your arm got eaten." Tony clapped his hands together then held them out.

Bucky swivelled around on the bed and dropped his arm across Tony's lap again. Tony didn't comment on the physical comfort he sometimes displayed in droves and sometimes reeled back completely, he just accepted it when it happened. He peeled off the tape, then the gauze, and grinned down at the wound. "It looks  _ amazing."  _

Bucky bent over to look at it too, their heads nearly colliding. "It looks disgusting."

"All in the name of progress, baby." Tony flicked his eyes up, worried Bucky would twitch away at the pet name, but instead he caught the vampire leaning in a little closer, sucking in a full breath of Tony's scent before leaning back. And shit, Tony hadn't taken a shower this morning and therefore hadn't doused himself in all his peppermint paraphernalia. He probably smelled incredibly human, especially after sweating through his clothes all night, rushing around. "Sorry," he murmured, too low for the mics. "Is it going to bother you?"

Bucky jerked back, apparently surprised to have been caught getting a lungful. "Nope. No problem." He swallowed, looking almost bashful for the first time since Tony had met him. "'S'nice," he muttered.

Tony smiled. "You sure you can resist me?" 

Bucky stuck out his tongue at him, startling a laugh out of Tony. "Bet you taste like antiseptic anyway."

"Probably." Tony was still smiling as he pulled the magnet out of his kit. He passed it over Bucky's arm and the rainbow glitter of the bots slowly disappeared, the nanoparticles having formed little clumps as they processed the dead skin. He worked slowly and carefully, being sure to collect as many as he could, then took another pass with a localized EMP to deactivate any he'd missed. He rinsed the wound again and sprayed it with more antiseptic, then slathered on a healing cream and re-wrapped it with fresh gauze. "We'll just keep checking on that, keeping it clean. You still have, like, two more weeks of antibiotics, but hopefully…" Tony trailed off as he reached up and pushed Bucky's sleeve aside to see if the lines of silver had receded at all. But Bucky flinched away from his touch.

Tony jerked his hand back. "Shit. Sorry. I should have asked."

"It's okay." Bucky grabbed the hem of his shirt and peeled the whole thing off. "You just startled me. I was -" he flapped his hand to indicate he was mentally elsewhere then put his arm back in Tony's lap. "Your fingers are hot."

Tony waggled his eyebrows. "And here I thought my ass was my best feature."

Bucky snorted out a laugh. "Hot as in warm, Stark."

Tony reached for his shoulder again. The lines seemed a little lower than last time, but not much better. Definitely not worse though. "May I?" he asked, even though he really didn't need to touch. 

Bucky nodded, and Tony curled his fingers around his shoulder, bending him into the light to see where the streaks of the infection ended. Bucky hissed a little at the touch, but leaned into it instead of away. Tony tapped a few notes into his tablet.

Bucky broke the silence. "Can I ask you something? In the name of honesty or whatever?"

"Sure." Tony leaned back against the wall, one leg unfolding to hang off the side of the bed.

"Whenever you're looking at my arm you keep touching your chest." Bucky demonstrated, bringing two fingers from his other hand to the centre of his chest, over his breast bone. "Why's that?"

Tony opened his mouth then closed it again. He'd had no idea he was doing that. It was - It was purely instinct, trying to rub away the phantom pain. Shit. He'd promised honesty, though. He shifted around, putting his back to the camera in the corner. Security knew this story, they'd been there for it, but that didn't mean Tony wanted a taped record of what his face did when he talked about it.

"I got… hurt. Working here. About a year ago."

"By a vampire."

"Yes. I was bitten."

"On the chest…"

Tony nodded. "Yup. It was supposed to be a killing bite, not a drinking one. He was aiming for my heart. I'd had the antiviral cocktail they make us take, all the vaccines we can manage, but it's hard to predict which strains of the virus are going to be active and they have to start making the vaccines a year in advance so there's a lot of risk. Well, as it turns out, I didn't get turned. My body managed to fight it off. But I did get a blood infection. A bad one. I almost died."

"But you didn't," Bucky muttered, eyes fixed on Tony's chest, and even though he was wearing a thick shirt over his scar, he felt naked under Bucky's gaze.

"Neither did you," Tony pushed. "Vampirism is an illness. You're not dead." 

Bucky's gaze snapped up to meet Tony's. "Would you rather have been turned or died from the infection?"

Tony didn't answer. He couldn't.

"Yeah." Bucky sat back on the bed, combing his long hair back with his fingers.

"Come in the bathroom for a second," Tony said, pouring as much intention into his tone as he could without being obvious. "I need to wash my hands and I want to see your arm under the better lighting."

Bucky blinked. "Okay."

They both pushed up off the bed, and Tony scooped up the medical kit with him, as if he was going to clean and repack it. Once in the bathroom, he closed the door and turned on Bucky who was watching him carefully.

"There's no cameras in here," Bucky said, voice low, catching on instantly.

Tony shook his head. "No there aren't."

"So if I tried to hurt you, no one would know."

"There'd be no 'try,' Dracula. If you wanted to hurt me, you just would. There's nothing I can do about it."

That made Bucky pause, swallow heavily. "Why are we in here, then?"

Tony fiddled with the edge of the medical kit case. He hoped he was making the right choice. "You took a few things from this kit when I first did your arm. A scalpel and some gauze and stuff." Bucky tensed, and Tony plowed on. "You don't need to tell me what you needed them for, but if you need help... If there's something I can help you with that you don't want anyone else to know about. Well…" He stretched his arms wide. "This is your chance."

Bucky sat down on the toilet lid and twined his fingers together. "I haven't used them yet. They're in the bottom drawer of that cabinet." He pointed. Tony made no move towards the drawer. 

"You can tell me, Buck," Tony said softly. "I can help."

Bucky was quiet for a long time, and Tony didn't press, waiting, leaned up against the bathroom sink. Finally, Bucky stood and started unbuckling his pants. Tony bit back the urge to say  _ At least buy me dinner first, _ and any further sass evaporated out of his lungs along with his breath when Bucky dropped his pants to the floor. He stood with his arms at his sides, tense, looking off towards the wall.

There was a brand burned into Bucky's upper thigh, a circle about the size of the top of a soda can, with the initials AP in the middle. The scar tissue was rough and old, even paler than Bucky's healthy skin.

"Shit." Tony's hand went to his mouth, and Bucky sat down hard again. Tony dropped to his knees in front of him and examined the brand carefully, ignoring how close to other parts of Bucky he suddenly was. "How is it -?"

"They gave it to me before I turned. That's how."

"Shit." Tony forced his medical professionalism front and centre. "What was your plan?"

"I was going to cut it off. Or maybe burn it if I could find a way to get a flame."

"Alright, so first off, I'm going to say the thing I've been saying since you got here, but again. If there's something you need, you can ask. You want a lighter? No problem. This isn't that kind of facility, Bucky. We're protecting you from the outside, not the other way around. Okay?"

Bucky nodded.

"As for this… that scalpel isn't going to be enough. I need more supplies. Look…" Tony rolled ideas around in his head. "It's going to scar."

"I know."

"You just want the… initials gone?"

"Yes," Bucky hissed out through gritted teeth.

"Okay. Okay. So here's the deal. I can do this nicely, with anesthesia and a team of surgeons and we can remove the section and sew it up all pretty and you'll just have a little scar. But it involves showing others, putting you under, being touched by a lot of people. They're good people, people you can trust…"

"I don't want that."

"Alright, well then I can do it, but it's going to be a bit… tricky. If we do it out there, they're going to want to bring a team in. For my safety, not to try and control you. And it's elective surgery, too, so… it'll be hard to convince my boss to put me at risk for this."

"I know. It's - it's okay, Stark. I can do it myself if you tell me how."

Tony glared up at him. "Uh yeah, not what I meant at all. I just meant we'll have to do it in here. Keep it on the down low. I'm going to need a bunch more supplies but that won't be a problem… Can I -?" he reached his fingers out towards the mark.

A tremble rippled over Bucky's frame, then he stilled himself. He nodded, but his knee still flinched up when Tony's fingertips landed on the brand. The skin was rough and waxy, like a candle that had been melted and re-solidified. Tony swallowed down rage he was used to suppressing.

"You're really going to do it?" Bucky asked, and Tony folded his hand over Bucky's thigh, above his knee and below the brand. His skin was cool and marble smooth. Tony met his gaze firmly.

"Of course, I'm going to do it. This is what you need, right?"

Bucky nodded.

"I just - it's going to hurt. I can bring some topical stuff but I can't knock you out if it's just me and I can't make the pain go away entirely if you're awake." He couldn't help stroking his fingers over Bucky's skin, just a few bare millimeters. "I said I'd never hurt you…"

"It's okay. I get it. I want this. I trust you." Bucky was nodding again.

"Alright. There's a lot of stuff we're going to need. As well as an excuse." He thought for a moment. "This is how it's going to go down. We need to get out of here before it starts looking suspicious. I'm going to take back the stuff you took. It'll help with inventory issues. I could brush them off if I had to, but better to keep this as simple as possible. We're going to go back out there like nothing happened. Next time I come to change your bandages, I'm going to say I want to clean it in the bathroom and you're going to come with me. When we're still in earshot of the mics I need you to ask me if I can help you shower. I'll say yes, but that it's going to be slow going because we don't want to get anything in your wound. Got it?"

"Yeah." Bucky's voice was rough.

"Okay. Okay. Good. Stash as many towels in here as you can. Keep asking for two and only put one back in the laundry. We'll need a lot. I'm also going to order you more blood and I need you to drink it all. Your body's already having a tough go of it, no need to make it harder."

Tony turned to leave, throwing everything haphazardly in his med kit, but Bucky caught his arm, cool fingers curling feather-gently around Tony's bicep. "Thank you," Bucky said, eyes flashing with something deep and hard to define. 

Tony just nodded then turned and left the bathroom, closing the door behind him while Bucky got dressed. Catching on, Bucky flushed the toilet and ran the tap for a moment before leaving the bathroom and tossing himself on his bed.

"You still have me for an hour," Tony said lightly, "What do you want to do?"

Bucky smiled and picked up the book he'd been reading. "Lemme read to you," he said, an old, long-forgotten accent, rusty with ill-use, leaking into his voice.

Tony leaned back against the wall, closed his eyes and listened.

**

Two days later, Tony arrived with his jam-packed medical kit and a significant look. He found Bucky picking at a tray of food and raised an eyebrow at him. "I'd like to give your wound a really thorough cleaning," he said, trying to keep his voice steady. "Can we do it in the bathroom?"

Bucky froze for half a second then nodded. "Actually…" he drawled, as if he were just thinking of it now, "while we're at it - mind helping me take a shower? I feel…" he looked down at himself and curled his lip "- sticky."

"Sure. We can do that. Might take a while."

"Well, I've got no plans."

Tony forced a smile then barrelled into the bathroom. Bucky appeared a moment later, shutting the door quietly behind him. Tony leaned over the sink and groaned. "Okay. Okay. We're going to do this and you're not going to kill me by mistake and I'm not going to kill  _ you  _ by mistake, and everything's going to be great."

Bucky's hand landed lightly on Tony's back then disappeared. "How do you want me?"

Tony had given this significant thought. "On the floor, on your back. Things might get awkward, just warning you. There's not much space in here."

Bucky dropped to the floor then stretched out on his back, arms behind his head, and Tony pulled all the towels he'd been hoarding out of the cupboard. He rolled one up and put it under Bucky's head then sat facing his feet, hip to hip. He took a breath then threw his leg over Bucky's midsection to brace against the opposite wall, and piled folded towels under Bucky's knee until his leg was folded up. It was almost a doable angle, but Tony was distinctly aware he was nearly straddling the vampire under him. "You okay?" he asked lightly.

"I was going to say you should have at least bought me dinner first, but since you've been buying my dinners for almost two weeks now, I say, go right ahead."

Tony snorted out a semi-hysterical laugh then twisted back to look at Bucky, the inside of his thigh pressed against Bucky's arm. They stared at each other for a moment.

"I'm scared," Tony admitted.

"I don't want to hurt you," Bucky said almost desperately, but Tony could feel it too: uncertainty.

"See, here's the thing. Once I start cutting, you might not have a choice in whether you hurt me or not. There's an automatic reflex, and I honestly don't know how much this is going to hurt you."

Bucky lay flat again with a sigh. "Shit." Then he half sat up, curling up around Tony's leg. "What if you tie me up?"

Tony cleared his throat roughly to keep from choking on nothing. "You kinky little shit."

Bucky laughed, even as Tony chastised himself for talking like that to a patient. "I mean tie my hands together, put something in my mouth I can bite down on."

"Oh, man, I know what to use. Wait here." Tony pushed recklessly to his feet, his knee digging briefly into Bucky's side, but the vampire just huffed out a breath and didn't move. Back out in Bucky's room, Tony rifled through his drawers, making a show of pulling out fresh clothes, soft loose sweatpants and a t-shirt. In between the folds of the sweatpants, he hid three belts then scurried back into the bathroom.

Bucky was still lying on the floor, and Tony dropped the belts on his stomach then tossed the clothes on the counter. He sat back down on the floor and tried out his position again. "Okay, I think we're good. Take off your clothes and we'll put some more towels down then I'll truss you up."

Bucky nodded, but Tony could feel waves of apprehension rolling off of him. It was probably the same vibe he was giving off himself, in all honesty. He'd done a lot of risky and ill-advised things for his patients over the years, figuring that if he didn't have their trust he wouldn't be able to do much for them anyway, but this was probably the most dangerous. And he trusted Bucky more than he'd ever trusted a patient before, which added an extra layer of risk. He was compromised, unable to do a proper risk assessment, because he believed, deep down, that Bucky didn't want to hurt him.

In just his underwear, Bucky lay back down on a stack of towels, and Tony worked him into the right position. Once he was settled, Tony leaned over to strap two of the belts around his wrists, behind his head. The thin leather wouldn't be enough to stop him if he really decided to do damage, but hopefully the small amount of resistance would be enough to remind Bucky why he was being cut open in the first place.

Tony folded the last belt up then tucked it in Bucky's hand where he could shove it under his teeth right before the first cut. "You okay?"

He nodded. "Never been better."

Tony laughed awkwardly then stood again. He scrubbed up as best as he could in the small bathroom with Bucky nearly naked and sprawled out at his feet. He wasn't too worried about infection. Bucky was still on antibiotics for his arm, and his vampire constitution could fight off most infections he'd been inclined to get from a surgery like this anyway, even weakened. The biggest risks were that Bucky would panic and bite Tony, or some of his blood would infect Tony and either turn him or give him a life-threatening infection of his own.

He opened his kit and settled back down again, working himself into position without using his hands. He snapped on a pair of gloves and sprayed topical analgesic over Bucky's entire thigh. He turned to look over his shoulder while he gave it some time to kick in. Bucky looked terrified. "You okay?"

"No. But I'm not really sure I remember how okay feels, anyway, so it's fine. I'll feel good when this is over. I want him off of me." Bucky's voice twisted dark and broken, more scared child than threatened vampire.

"Alright. Bite the belt, take short breaths so you don't hyperventilate, try not to scream too loud, and above all, don't break my neck."

He nodded. "Got it." 

"Okay, here we go." Tony tapped the skin a few times to test its numbness and when Bucky didn't flinch, he took out a needle and injected some more analgesic in a few critical points. 

When that kicked in too, and Bucky was as numb as he was going to get without an epidural, Tony took the scalpel in hand and set to work. The first cut had Bucky twitching violently under him and Tony sucked in a sharp breath, heart pounding. Buy Bucky stilled again, and Tony set back to work. It would be better to get this done quickly than to drag it out and risk using up all of Bucky's self-control.

Taking to heart that all Bucky wanted was the initials gone, and that he didn't mind a scar, Tony cut through the centre, removing a long, thin section of the brand that took out the curve of the two letters. When he was done, all that would be left was a bit of the burn and the healed over scar from his scalpel. 

Bucky wasn't moving, and Tony risked a glance over his shoulder at his face. His eyes were squeezed shut, face even whiter than usual. He'd bitten straight through the belt, his long, dangerous teeth poking out of the other side of the leather. Tony had to work quickly.

If this were a proper scar excision, he'd take more care, but he just wanted it done with the least risk to both of them that was possible. He set aside his scalpel when the area he wanted to remove had been carefully peeled off, and he took up his tweezers and a threaded suture needle. He pulled the lower layer of skin back together and started a line of careful sutures. 

Bucky's other leg started shaking against him, and Tony wished he could wipe away the itchy bead of sweat on his forehead. He pressed down with his hip to lock Bucky's leg in place and finished up the first row of stitches. The second row went faster, and though the line was jagged and wouldn't exactly be the subtle white line a plastic surgeon would be going for, the letters were gone, leaving nothing but a ridge of burned skin that met at the stitches in the middle. It would have to be good enough.

Tony set aside his tools and worked quickly to get the wound wrapped up. When it was done, he slumped back against the bathroom cabinet and looked over at Bucky. He peeled off his gloves and tentatively placed his hand flat over Bucky's chest. He was breathing, but slowly. "Bucky?"

Bucky nodded, sharply, and Tony eased back, giving him space to recover. When the tension in Bucky's frame relaxed, Tony reached up and unclipped the belts around his wrists and eased his arms down until they were folded over his stomach. He ignored the low warning growl that leaked out from behind the other belt. 

Tony left Bucky to deal with that one when he was ready, pushing himself shakily to his feet. He ran the shower, using a wet towel to clean up the tile floor around Bucky's thigh. 

After a few moments, Bucky pushed himself up to sitting and spat out the belt.

"You okay?"

"That hurt like a motherfucker."

"I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay, I -" his eyes cut down to the white gauze wrapped around his thigh. "Worth it."

"Okay. Let's make you look a bit more showered." Tony helped Bucky up so he was sitting on the toilet seat, then took another wet towel and scrubbed it through his hair until it was damp and wild, making it look like he'd just showered.

Bucky rumbled a bit. "That feels nice."

"Heal up and I'll do it properly," Tony promised.

Bucky's eyes flicked open and raked up to meet Tony's. "That a promise?"

Tony eased his wet hair back from his face. "Always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! More will come soon, I hope! :D


	3. Chapter 3

Tony didn't sleep all night, thinking about Bucky lying awake in his bed, leg throbbing with pain. He left for work early, with his industrial sized travel mug in hand, full of high-test. Tony reviewed his files then grabbed a fresh medkit and made for Bucky's room. Bucky was his primary patient, right now, which was all for the best because he needed a lot of care. 

Tony slipped inside after knocking lightly, and found the room quiet, Bucky curled up on his bed, facing the wall. "Hey, Buck?" Tony tried softly, and the tight curl of vampire untwisted slightly.

"Hey, Stark."

"How are you?" Tony sat on the edge of the bed and pointedly touched his hand to Bucky's outer thigh. 

Bucky nodded. "Fine. Nothing hurts." He met Tony's eyes and didn't break away. 

"Good. I ordered some more painkillers, anyway, and I'd like to change your dressing. Bathroom?"

Bucky nodded and pushed up. Tony could see the slight hitch in his step as he walked, limping and trying to hide it. There were other suites he could be moved to, ones with less monitoring, but Tony wouldn't be able to make an argument for one of those until Bucky's chart was completely red flag free. In the harsh light of day, it was harder to justify their secret surgery. But Bucky'd had a determined glint in his eye that meant he was going to do it with Tony's help or not, and Tony had made a hasty decision. Thankfully, they'd both made it through.

Tony had marked down extended antibiotics and painkillers for his arm, which was looking incredibly good. In the bathroom, Tony peeled back the gauze there first. "Looks great. You're healing too fast - I can't justify the extra meds anymore." He chuckled, but Bucky frowned so he petted the back of his hand gently. "It's okay, I'm kidding. Oversight isn't the same here as at a traditional hospital. I have a lot of freedom."

"Because no one cares what happens to us."

Tony snapped his eyes up to Bucky's. "Not true." He squeezed his wrist when Bucky looked away. "Hey. Not true. Even if the rest of the administration here didn't care - and I promise you,  _ they do  _ \- I still care. I'm going to take care of you."

"I don't trust them."

"I know." Keeping the scar excision a secret might have had a consequence that Tony hadn't predicted. Bucky's trust of the facility was already tenuous at best, and Tony agreeing that the surgery had to be kept a secret wouldn't have helped with that. It was hard to explain that Tony trusted the security team, trusted the other doctors, but no one else in the facility would have made the same decision to perform the surgery on their own. The risk wasn't worth it. They would have asked Bucky to wait until he was comfortable being treated by a team, and somehow Tony had just known he wouldn't have waited. The look of sheer disgust when he'd shown Tony the brand… He was desperate to know what had happened to Bucky during his captivity, but Bucky wasn't ready to tell him yet. Might never be.

His arm clean and re-wrapped, Tony moved on to Bucky's leg. That was healing well too, better and faster than his arm since it had been done in a somewhat sterile environment, with a sharp blade, and Tony's deft hand. Vampires were a contradiction of too-fast and too-slow. Their heart rate and breathing was glacier-slow, but movement and healing were lightening fast. It had taken a long time to get used to, when Tony had finished medical school and started at the facility. 

Put back together again, Tony led Bucky out of the bathroom and settled him on the edge of the bed, looking down at him. "What do you want to do?"

"Surely you have other patients to see. You don't have to hang around with me all day."

"You're my primary case right now. It's all you, bub, so you'd better stay interesting."

"Ha. That's why you should -" Bucky cut off, turning towards the door, his whole body tensing.

"You okay -?" A soft knock on the door interrupted him.

Bucky moved so fast, he shocked the air out of Tony's lungs. Bucky shifted in front of him, gripping Tony's upper arm and dragging him behind his back, a low, rough growl rumbling out of Bucky's chest. 

"Hey, hey," Tony said softly, once he was breathing again. He pressed his palm flat to Bucky's lower back, feeling the growl through his shirt. "It's okay."

"Who is it?" Bucky asked, directed towards Tony instead of the person on the other side of the door.

"I'm going to go check."

Bucky tensed further, but Tony moved slowly, and Bucky let him go. Tony went to the door and cracked it open. It was the new medical intern - Tony couldn't remember his name. "Yes?" he hissed.

"Sorry, Dr. Stark. But Coulson from legal - he had a question about, uh, something… and he said -"

Tony shot Bucky a look then slipped through the crack into the hall. He shut and locked the door behind him. "Hey, kid? Yeah, don't do that. See this red sign? That means no contact. That doesn't mean knock or call through the door or slip me a note.  _ No  _ contact. You need something, you page me. That's it."

The kid winced hard. "Sorry, Dr. Stark."

"Just…" Tony sighed. "Just learn from it."

"I will."

"What did legal need?" There was a pull dragging Tony back into Bucky's room and he was struggling to stay here and suffer through this inane conversation. 

The kid opened a manila folder and Tony scanned the page. Coulson had stuck a sticky note near the bottom asking if a case mentioned in the document had been released at yellow-level concern or green. Tony snatched a pen from the kid's hand, scribbled  _ yellow  _ at the bottom then handed it back. "That it?"

The kid nodded.

"Okay. Off you scurry. And review door codes, please."

"Yes, sir, Dr. Stark."

Tony sighed and took a second to shake the irritation out of his frame before he went back inside. Bucky was sitting on the floor, back against the wall, tension rippling through him. "Hey, you okay?"

"I'm fine." 

Tony walked over and sat beside him, shoulder to shoulder. "They're not supposed to do that."

"It's okay. I shouldn't - I mean, I know it's crazy. There's lots of other people here, I know that. I shouldn't be freaked out being reminded of it."

"It's alright. You can't rush healing, Buck. Guilt's not going to help get you there any faster. I'm sorry. I promised no one else would come in here and that scared you."

Bucky's jaw worked for a while. "I trust you."

"Good."

"Gonna spend it on something?" Bucky asked, finally smiling, turning his devastatingly cheeky smirk on Tony.

Tony laughed. "I think I'll bank it this time."

**

Tony peeled away the last of the gauze and grinned down at Bucky's arm, triumphant. "Perfect! Healed like a champ. Ten points."

Bucky rolled his eyes. "It's not like I did anything."

"Oh, no, the points were for me." Tony winked at him and Bucky shook his head, but his eyes were soft and filled with reluctant affection. "That's it, healthwise. Just gotta put a few pounds on you, now."

Bucky shuffled where he sat. "That means I should go, right?"

"Go?"

"Leave. The hospital. You've got me all fixed up so I should make room for someone else, right?"

Tony sat down next to him on the bed. "You don't have to go. If you want to, you can, but there's a lot more we can do for you. We can talk about blood options, work on craving control, de-venom you, talk about career options, and if nothing else, I really mean it about those pounds. You should get to a healthy weight before you go anywhere. But like I said, it's up to you."

"De-venom?" Bucky's voice was tight and sharp.

"Yeah. It goes a long way towards protecting you if anything should happen. Stops a bite from being deadly, shows an effort to integrate if you get on the wrong side of the law, and it lets you use the willing donor database, if that's something you're interested in."

"Doesn't -?" Bucky's tongue shot out and ran over his teeth in a desperate path, back and forth, back and forth. "Okay. Doesn't seem like something you guys would go for."

Tony tipped his head to the side. "No? Why not? We've been doing it for over a decade now and the risk is really quite minimal."

Bucky's tongue shot out again. "Okay… if you think it'll help."

"Alright." Tony didn't like the hesitance that was still there. It was usually the easiest treatment to get vamps to agree to. "I'll get the kit." He left the room and came back with a small black case. He opened it and rummaged around, checking he had everything. "Okay, sit here -" he sat Bucky on the edge of the bed "- and I'll -" he pulled a chair around so he was facing Bucky, spreading his legs so he could scootch up close. "I'll use a topical so the shots might pinch a little but they won't hurt much. It usually takes two treatments and about three weeks for it to fully de-venom you. We'll use a chomp test and we make you wait three days after a clear test before you can start willing-donor training."

Bucky narrowed his eyes at Tony. "Wait. I don't - I don't understand."

"What part don't you understand?"

"How - don't you have to pull my teeth?"

Tony's mouth fell open and he snapped it shut again. "Pull your  _ teeth? _ Who told you that?"

"I don't know. That was just what we all thought. De-venomed vamps had no teeth."

Tony's fingers found Bucky's wrist and he circled it gently. "I don't need to pull your teeth. There are two glands in your neck, here." Tony touched his fingers gently to the side of Bucky's neck, next to his larynx. "They produce a fluid with anti-coagulating properties, as well as a mild paralytic and other things. It also contains the nasties that spread the vampirism virus. The bugs in your bloodstream are dead, harmless, in fact we use vampire blood to manufacture the antivirals that help protect us from being infected if we get bitten by a venomed vampire. But we have this serum that we can inject that stops the function of the glands. They shrivel up like raisins, essentially, and after a few weeks you're not contagious anymore. It lasts forever. Though, it's good to do regular chomp tests just to be sure. But you can buy those at a drug store."

"Oh." Bucky worked his bottom lip. "Feel stupid now."

"Don't. They kept you ignorant of this stuff on purpose. It was part of the abuse. And I'm sorry, I should take care to explain more instead of assuming."

Bucky kept squirming, apparently processing all of that. "So just an injection?"

"Yeah. Well, two, really. One on each side."

"Well, shit. That's no problem." He tipped his chin back in a heart-stoppingly submissive gesture, and closed his eyes. "Whenever you're ready, Stark."

"Actually, I need you to do a chomp first. Baseline - and it lets us know that your glands are working. Be stupid to do the process if you're naturally without venom already."

Tony pulled a flat sheet out of the package in the kit and unfolded it. He held it out to Bucky, the thick, spongey side up. "Bite down. Hard."

Bucky took it and slipped it between his teeth, then pressed down, teeth sinking into the paper. He pulled himself free and handed it back. Tony pointed at the bright pink indentations made by each tooth. "See? That's a positive result. We'll test every few days until you come back all blue. There's a small chance we'll have to do another dose in a few weeks, but most of the time, one is enough. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Now the injections." 

Bucky tipped his head back again and Tony pulled on a pair of gloves then tore open a wipe and smoothed it over his skin. He took one of the pre-filled syringes out of the kit and snapped the tip off, then he used his left hand to feel around until he had the bulge of one gland pinched between his fingers. He slid the needle in and pressed the plunger. He repeated the same on the other side, and Bucky was as still as a statue through the whole thing. "All done."

Bucky ran his tongue over his teeth again. "So. The, uh, the donor thing?"

"Willing-donor database?"

"Yeah."

"It's… what it sounds like, really. People who are willing to share their blood. There's a few ways for you to stay fed safely. One is to sign up with a bagged blood provider. It can be expensive, but we help with that. The other is to use the WDD. You can drink live. You have to pass a chomp test every six months to stay a member, and you need a certified tester to sign off that you know how to drink safely. Any incidents at all takes you off the list for life. There's no appeal - if the donor complains, you're done. But it's the healthiest way to get the blood you need. It's - uh -" Tony cleared his throat. "It's kind of personal, though."

Bucky's jaw worked for a moment as he rolled that around. "Are you on the list?" he finally asked.

"As a donor?"

"Yes."

"Um. No… No I used to be, but -" Tony looked down and realized his fingers were at his chest again. He stuffed them under his thigh. "Not anymore. I'm a certified tester, though. So I can help you get signed up with it."

"Okay." Bucky nodded. "It sounds… nice. I guess." Bucky's eyes shifted up over Tony's shoulder and went far away. 

Tony let him wander for a while then touched his ankle lightly. "Want to clean up?"

Bucky snapped back to him, and his eyes narrowed, brow furrowed. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something then closed it again and nodded instead. "Okay."

Tony pushed up and led the way to the bathroom. He heard the door click behind him and he turned to grab a towel and almost ran right into Bucky's chest where he was leaning against the counter. Bucky frowned at him. "What's wrong?"

"What?"

"What is it?"

"Nothing's wrong." Tony blinked at him. "I don't get it."

Bucky looked at him like he was an idiot. "We're in the secret bathroom!" He threw his hands up then let them fall. "What's going on?"

Tony burst out laughing. "Oh my god, no. I literally mean clean up. I promised I'd wash your hair when you were better and now you're better. There are legitimate things one can do in the bathroom, you know."

Bucky rolled his eyes, but it was with affection. "You freaked me out."

"Sorry." But he couldn't keep from smiling. "Anyway, not to say you're a bit ripe, but you're a bit ripe, and if you want a full detailing, I'm happy to give you a hand, or I can give you some advice about keeping the incision sites clean and leave you to manage on your own. Whatever you like."

Bucky hesitated for a moment. "You'd really wash my hair?"

"Of course." Tony poked Bucky's bad arm, which was still marked by silver lines, though they'd lost their depth and intensity. It was still stiff and he couldn't straighten his elbow all the way. "Tough to scrub with this one still giving you trouble. Up to you, though."

"Alright… thanks." 

"Bath or shower?"

"Um. I can have a bath?"

"Course." Tony took Bucky by the shoulders and sat him down on the closed toilet lid, then bent over the tub and started the water running. "Hot or cold.

A soft chuckle leaked behind Tony. "Hot, please." When Tony didn't say anything else, Bucky went on. "Heat's hard to find as a vampire. It feels… normal to be cold all the time, but blood is hot and that feels good. Your touch is hot… there wasn't a lot - I couldn't - it's… kind of new, I guess."

"I'm going to start this hot but not scalding, and if you'd like more, we can always drain it and refill with hotter. The hot water is endless here, so don't worry about running out if you want to take baths or showers on your own."

"Thanks." 

The tub finished filling and Tony crooked a finger at Bucky. "Alright. Strip for me."

Bucky smiled, softer and more amused than Tony expected. It made Tony's stomach fizz. "Without a backing track? What do you take me for?"

"Oh, I'm sure you can work it just fine. Let those immortal abs speak for themselves." But he turned away and rustled with bottles of shampoo and body wash under the sink while Bucky stripped off his clothes. He looked back up just in time to see Bucky's boxers hit the floor, revealing the marble smooth, pale white curve of his ass, and then he lifted a foot and moved to step into the tub. Tony's caregiver instincts kicked into play, and he jolted up and reached for Bucky's elbow. "Careful on your bad leg."

"It really doesn't hurt anymore." But Bucky let himself be lowered into the tub with Tony's help.

Tony turned on the tap again, dripping some body wash into the stream as he topped it up over Bucky's knees. The tubs here were long and deep, and Bucky could almost stretch his legs out entirely. His hands were locked to the side of the tub with white knuckles, and Tony brushed his fingertips over them, willing them to relax. "You okay? Too hot?"

"No. It's just. New." His voice was tight, so Tony turned away for a minute, prepping a pile of bottles by his foot and folding a towel under him so he could kneel comfortably by the side of the tub for a long time. He wasn't surprised that Bucky didn't seem bothered by his nudity- he'd shown no signs of modesty so far - but there was still something raw and exposed about his expression that Tony wasn't sure if he should touch or ignore.

Tony folded his arms over the edge of the tub and dropped his chin to it, breathing in the sandalwood scented steam and letting his eyes half-lid. It'd been a long day - not hard, just a long time since his morning coffee - and he was feeling a bit dopey.

Bucky sat for a long time, stock still and just soaking, but bit by bit, he visibly relaxed, until his chin was almost touching the water. His eyes closed too, and Tony smiled. He took the chance to study Bucky, and he liked what he saw. The gaunt, hooded look around his eyes and cheeks was almost gone, filled out again by food and blood. His skin was bright and clear, pale but not wan. His eyes were back to normal and stayed that way, even through long gaps between drinking. His teeth were clean. They could use a professional descaling, but Bucky was unlikely to go for that, as uncomfortable as he was with other people being around him, let alone touching him. But he'd been using a proper fang brush, and vampire teeth were as hard as iron, so they were bright and gleaming after only the minimal of care. 

Bucky's hair was lanky and rough still, but that was what they were about to take care of now. "How you feeling?"

Bucky cracked one eye. "Really good actually," he said, so softly, it was almost a whisper. Somehow, the hot water had peeled him open, and Tony could see the discomfort with being exposed - and it had nothing to do with being naked. "It's nice. Smells nice."

"Sandalwood is popular among vampires. Not sure why. Want me to wash your hair?"

Bucky swallowed then turned wide, trusting eyes on Tony. "Would you?"

"Yeah, I'd be happy to." Tony shuffled up to Bucky's head and lifted his hands up to his face, broadcasting his movements as he ran his fingers through his hair, brushing it back and out of his eyes. It was tangled and oily, and he couldn't wait for the satisfaction that would come from having it smooth and clean. "Dip." Tony eased Bucky back, cupping the back of his head, and guided him in until the water curled around his head. Tony combed his fingers through his hair, making sure it was all wet, then pressed his fingers to the back of Bucky's neck to bring him back up again.

Bucky was quiet, hanging forward as Tony squeezed shampoo into his hands then leaned in close and started to scrub it deep into Bucky's scalp. The first groan that leaked out made Bucky flinch, but when Tony laughed, he smiled too and rumbled again. "Shit, that feels really good."

"Well, a solid part of my medical degree is in hair washing, so I should hope so."

Bucky's smiled deepened, then melted away as his mouth fell open in pleasure.  _ Don't think of it as nearly pornographic,  _ Tony said firmly to himself, focusing on Bucky's hair and nothing else. As sure as he was that Bucky would think that was hilarious, Tony was determined to keep this bath entirely safe for him, free from their usual flirting, because he'd never seen Bucky give himself over so freely to something so scary for him. But then Bucky had to open his mouth.

"Usually have to pay by the hour for hands like that, Stark."

Tony snorted then broke out into full laughter, the careful, on-edge feeling melting away. "You are a health hazard, James Barnes."

"Hey, I'm the one dick-out right now. Feeling a bit vulnerable."

Tony smirked and dug his fingers in deep enough to earn another sigh of pleasure. "I can assure you, you have nothing to feel vulnerable about," Tony said flirtily, feeling a rush of butterflies at the boldness.

Bucky laughed lightly then hummed, and Tony turned his focus back to his hair. He dipped Bucky again, rinsing out the shampoo, then scrubbed it through a second time, squeezing it through every strand and combing out the tangles. Squeaky and clean, Tony moved on to the conditioner. 

It was soothing, washing Bucky's hair, as vicariously soothing as having someone do his. They fell into comfortable silence as Tony rubbed the conditioner into Bucky's split ends. Tony rinsed his hands off then put a hand on Bucky's shoulder to ease him back against the tub again. "Gotta let it sit for a bit. Do you want me to add more hot water?"

"Nah. It's good now. Thanks."

Tony folded his arms over the edge of the tub again. Usually, this was the point where he'd find a reason to back off and give his patient some space, but he sensed that Bucky wanted him close, and sure enough, he was leaning in towards where Tony was instead of curling away. 

"Hey, Buck?" Tony asked, taking a gamble.

"Yeah?"

"The, uh -" Tony looked pointedly at Bucky's thigh. "The brand. You said that was from before you were turned, that's how they got it to scar. Does that mean…?"

Bucky sat statue still for a long, tense moment. "Yeah. I was barely twenty years old when they got me. I didn't have a family to miss me. I'd joined the army and come back with nothing to do and my best friend dead. They picked up a lot of kids that way. It was sport, throwing one in with their current champion vamp and seeing how long they lasted. Some just got eaten, drained dry. Some were left to rot in their cages - die from infection or turn, no one cared. If you turned, you'd be pitted up against the current champ. They just… the fighting was sport for them. There was a lot of betting. The… brand was from when they first dragged me in, so they'd know who I belonged to if I turned. Arthur Pierce." Bucky spat out the name like poison. "When he died, he left me to his son, Alexander, so named so the brands would hold their value."

Tony's throat was tight. He knew there were underground vampire fighting rings, but he'd never spoken to someone who'd been in one. "It's disgusting."

"It's  _ barely  _ illegal," Bucky shot back. He ran a rough hand through his hair, the dripping water loud in the small bathroom. "Anyway…" But then he didn't seem to have anything else to say.

It wasn't the time to remind Bucky that fixing that was one of the many things the facility was working on. He had every right to be angry. "What year were you born?"

"Nineteen seventeen. March, I think. Been a while since I cared about my birthday."

"Lookin pretty good for pushing a hundred," Tony said with a wink.

Bucky grinned, all teeth. "Thanks, Stark."

"Time to rinse." Tony sat up again and guided Bucky back down into the water. He worked the conditioner out, until Bucky's hair was silk between his fingers. "Want to soak for a bit longer or are you ready to come out? No pressure."

"I'm actually -" Bucky blinked and there was something distant in his eyes. "Feeling a bit wiped, somehow. I think I'd better get out before I pass out."

"Sure thing." Tony hit the drain and as the water glugged away, he held out his hands and helped Bucky up to his feet. The pressure on his hands was a bit worrying, Bucky leaning hard into his hold even after he was out of the tub and on the bath mat. Tony tipped his head down to catch Bucky's eye. "You alright?"

"Bit dizzy. Too much steam."

"Alright. Let's get you out into the fresh air." Tony propped the door open and took a towel and rubbed Bucky's hair dry while he worked another one over his arms, chest and legs. Bucky shuffled out into the bedroom, and Tony followed him closely. But in the cool, clear air of Bucky's room, he seemed to steady out, breathing in deep and standing up tall. Comforted, Tony went over to the bed and sprawled sideways across it while Bucky picked out clothes. He pulled on boxers and a t-shirt, and Tony poked his tablet, making notes about Bucky's health and progress. 

"Hey, Buck, do you -?" Tony was cut off by a loud thump, and he startled up to find Bucky crumpled down on the ground, unmoving. "Bucky?! James!" Tony threw himself across the room, ignoring the crash of the tablet screen smashing as it hit the floor. Tony skidded to a stop on his knees at Bucky's side. "Buck -  _ Bucky!"  _

He was completely unresponsive. Tony rolled him gently onto his back, cupping his head, then bent his ear over his face, waiting, agonized, for that first, slow, vampiric breath.

It didn't come. And Tony's fingers on his wrist found no pulse. 

Panic flushing his veins, prickling the back of his eyes, Tony folded his hands over Bucky's chest and pushed down as hard as he could.  _ "Code blue!" _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Sorry not sorry!! :DDDD)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry about the cliffhanger on the last chapter! If it helps, I've finished writing all but the last scene of the last chapter, now, so I shouldn't ever leave you hanging for too long! :D
> 
> (Please be flexible with the medicine, it's mostly for fun (and drama). If something doesn't make sense, the answer is "vampires" thanks ;) )

_ "Fuck! Code blue!"  _ Tony called again, more desperately. "Shit." He started the agonizingly slow chest compressions needed for a vampire and Bucky's limp body rocked under his hands, mouth slack. 

"Come on, Bucky." Tony pushed again, shoulders aching. "You -" He was cut off by another hand landing on his shoulder, tapping lightly. The team had arrived with a crash cart already. He didn't know how long he'd been there, begging.

He kept up the compressions, counting them out in his head as the team surrounded him. They slid in an IV and pushed a cocktail of antiarrhythmic drugs, trying to get Bucky's pulse restarted and under control, while another doctor at his elbow prepped the paddles. Tony focused on his job - pressing firmly on Bucky's chest in a steady beat. The iron-like vampire ribcage fought back, but Tony braced his elbows and pushed everything into it. 

Someone's hands slipped scissors up the centre of Bucky's shirt, moving around Tony's regular movements. One of the technicians was saying something, but the noise of the room had turned into a buzz of indistinguishable sound. "Bucky…" he muttered, eyes fixed on Bucky's pale, unmoving face.

"Dr.  _ Stark! Clear!"  _ the technician hissed, and Tony startled back. He hadn't even heard her before. 

As soon as he held up his hands, she pressed the paddles to Bucky's chest and fired them off. 

Tony didn't even have time to worry that it wouldn't work. Bucky's chest heaved once, shaky, and then his eyes snapped open. And they were filled with  _ rage. _

_ "Get out!"  _ Tony yelled at the crash team, and they scattered as Bucky surged to his feet. Tony's back hit the wall so hard that he heard the crack of his skull against the concrete, and for a second, stars danced in front of his eyes. He hadn't even seen Bucky move but now his full weight was pinning Tony to the wall, hot breath on his face as Bucky's chest heaved up and down. Adrenaline flushed through Tony's veins, hot and bitter, and he forced himself not to struggle against the wall of marble that was Bucky's body.

"Bucky," he managed to squeak out. The door clanged as the others left the room. They would come back with a sedative, so Tony held two fingers up behind Bucky's back, in view of the security camera, their okay signal, and prayed he wasn't making a mistake that would cost him his life.

"You  _ lied  _ to me," Bucky growled, near desperate, eyes dark and cold. His hand clenched on Tony's arm and Tony felt the bruises blooming under his too-rough touch.

Tony swallowed twice, trying to get some saliva to slick his dry mouth. "You were dying. More important than a promise. I'm sorry." He reached out and placed his free hand flat on Bucky's stomach, submissive but grounding. "I'm sorry."

Bucky squeezed his eyes shut, a low growl still rumbling through his chest. Then he roared, reared back, and slammed his fist into the wall mere inches from Tony's head. Tony's entire body curled in on itself, but he kept his hand on Bucky's stomach, sucking in desperate attempts at oxygen that didn't reach his lungs. 

Bucky dropped his head then slowly leaned in until Tony was pressed bodily against the wall, completely trapped by Bucky's immovable strength. But Bucky was limp now, instead of braced, and he released Tony's arm, hands pressing flat on the wall on either side of Tony instead.

"Bucky," Tony gasped again, fingers curling into the torn fabric of his shirt as his other hand dropped down to join the one still flat against Bucky's stomach. His muscles twitched under Tony's touch.

Bucky's rumble broke from a hot growl into something lower, animalistic and possessive. He pressed his face into Tony's neck and breathed in deeply.

And this was a different kind of terror, because Bucky could kill him a hundred different ways, and still venomed, even a small bite would put Tony in serious danger. But he was close enough that all of Tony's scent precautions would be useless. He had to rely on Bucky's self-control, which was paper thin right now. "Bucky, please."

What Bucky did next could only be described as a nuzzle, he ran his nose up the length of Tony's neck to behind his ear, breathing in. "I don't want anyone else touching me," he whispered against Tony's skin, sounding more broken, more terrified, than angry.

"I know. I'm sorry." Tony rubbed his knuckles against the ridges of Bucky's abs. "Keep breathing. This is the epinephrine hit. It's stronger for vampires, takes a lot longer to burn through, too. You're okay. They're gone. No one's going to touch you now."

Bucky made a small, rough noise and pressed even closer into Tony, an immense weight that made it hard to breathe.

"You need blood, and as much as I'd like to offer you mine, that's not safe, right now. Can I get you a bag?"

Bucky breathed into his neck for a moment longer before he nodded.

"Okay, okay." Tony shuffled them over towards Bucky's bed and eased him down where he dropped his face into his hands, shoulders shaking. Not wanting to leave him alone for long, Tony dashed out and pulled a blood bag from the stack, not bothering to microwave it. His hands were shaking, sloshing the blood in the bag, and it took him four tries to get a nozzle in it. He finally got it put together and set it at Bucky's hip, handing him the nozzle.

Bucky jammed the nozzle between his teeth and sucked hard, crackling the bag as it folded in on itself. Tony let himself crumple down to the floor, hand clutched to his chest. He felt like he'd been the one to have a heart attack. "I don't think it was a reaction to the de-venoming. There are no recorded instances of sudden cardiac arrest. It might have been a blood clot," he managed, trying to keep his voice steady, but hearing the shake anyway. "We need to do an echocardiogram and possibly an angiogram, too. Soon. Find out for sure what caused that."

Bucky sucked harder, still not talking.

"But I'm not going to touch you until you're ready."

"What happened?"

"You got out of the bath and started getting dressed, and then you just passed out. You weren't breathing and I couldn't find a pulse. I had to call a crash cart in to revive you - it's not something I can do on my own. I'm sorry."

Bucky heaved in a deep breath, then another. The bag drained, he dropped the nozzle, and let the whole thing tumble to the floor. "I'm - will you -?"

Tony shuffled closer. "What do you need? Want me to leave? I can't leave you entirely alone, but I can monitor from security and come back when you're ready for the test."

"Touch me?" Bucky asked, barely more than a whisper.

"Really? You want me to?"

"I feel like something really bad is going to happen."

Tony reached out slowly and covered Bucky's knee with his hand. "It's the epi. It's much harder on vampires than on humans, but we haven't been able to find a viable alternative. It's going to keep you in fight or flight for a little while. Just keep taking deep breaths. It's not real anxiety. It's just the drugs."

Bucky nodded, tension still rippling across his frame, and Tony flowed up onto the bed beside him, even as his own flight response screamed at him to run away from the dangerous glint of Bucky's canines. He wrapped his arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer. Bucky gave into the hold, sagging against Tony's side. His breathing was rough and jagged.

"Whatever you need," Tony said against his temple. "Just ask."

"Is it okay if I sleep? I think… I think I need to run twenty miles and sleep for a year at the same time..."

"Sure. I'll stay here with you and we'll do the angio in a few hours, okay? Also, please keep breathing."

"Okay." Bucky deflated like a balloon, folding over Tony's lap. For a long time, Tony could still feel the panicky hitch to his breath against his thigh, but after almost forty-five minutes, it evened out and Bucky's weight settled heavier and heavier. 

With Bucky out, Tony let himself fully relax against the headboard and process what had just happened. He kept one hand on Bucky's back to make sure he was keeping his promise, and closed his hot, prickling eyes, willing himself to calm his own, natural adrenaline rush. Bucky had almost died. He was confident he'd made the right choice in calling in the team, but it had surely taken a toll on the trust they'd built. Bucky wanted his comfort now, but who knew what he'd want in the harsh light of day. 

And what had caused it? He couldn't rule out the de-venom drug, though Bucky's reaction hadn't seemed like an allergic one. It was too delayed, and not localized enough. He gingerly worked his fingers against Bucky's neck and pressed them lightly to his left venom gland. It wasn't even swollen.

So that left other causes, and the one most on Tony's mind was that Bucky had been suffering from severe sepsis for at least weeks, maybe months, when they got him. Maybe he'd thrown a clot which had given him a heart attack that led to SCA. And if that was the case, they needed to know and get him on the right meds as soon as possible, or another one could happen at any time. 

Tony tried not to feel guilty, but the heat and steam of the bathroom was probably what set off the episode, limited oxygen and the stress of overheating on the body, especially a vampire body. He shouldn't have indulged so long, flirting and joking instead of taking his job seriously.

Well, it might not matter anymore, if Bucky didn't want to see him anymore. He could hand his case off to another doctor who'd be able to treat him more professionally, take his healing seriously.

"I'm sorry," Tony murmured, not meaning to say it out loud, but thinking it so loudly that it slipped out. He brushed his fingers through Bucky's still-damp hair. 

They sat like that for over an hour, Tony drifting in and out of a doze, snapping hyper-alert every time Bucky shifted and grunted in his sleep.

Eventually, Bucky groaned and rolled a bit, then pushed himself up out of Tony's lap. "Hey," Tony said. "You okay?" He didn't just want to know how Bucky was feeling, he also wanted to remind him he wasn't alone in case he reacted sharply, waking up after trauma to someone in his bed.

But Bucky just blinked at him then scrubbed a hand over his face. "I feel like shit. But not as panicky anymore."

"Good." Tony hesitated, still not sure how Bucky was going to treat him. But Bucky just sat there, unmoving, not going back to sleep, but not really awake either. "Do you feel dizzy? Nauseous?"

Bucky shook his head. "Not really."

"I'd like to do the echo, now, if you're okay with that."

"Sure," Bucky said flatly.

"Alright. I'll go get the cart."

In the time it took Tony to sign out the cart and bring it back to Bucky's room, something had shifted. Bucky was tense and didn't look up at him as Tony pushed the cart into the room. He'd changed out his wrecked clothes for fresh and settled back on the bed, shoulders tight. 

Tension hung thick in the air and made it hard to get a full breath in. Tony focused on prepping the cart. He wasn't as highly trained with the ultrasound as he would have liked, but he could record everything and have one of the specialists review it. His guess was still a blood clot from the infection, which hopefully meant a repeat event was unlikely, but it was still terrifying.

"You'll have to take your shirt off."

Bucky peeled his shirt off and tossed it aside without a word. He lay still on his bed while Tony attached the electrical pads to his chest. With the machine live, Tony held up a bottle of gel. "This might be a bit cold."

"Don't mind cold," Bucky muttered, and Tony couldn't help but remember how only a few short hours ago, Bucky was all but purring in the steamy heat of the bathtub.

Tony touched Bucky's arm, gently curling him towards the edge of the bed, then squirted the gel on his chest. He took the probe and pressed it over his heart. After that, Tony focused on the imaging. He didn't want to screw this up and have to do it again. He took stills, and recorded video, getting a good look at everything. Bucky's heart looked good, from what he could see, but he'd have the results in a few days, and in the meantime, they'd leave Bucky on a heart monitor if he'd let them, and get him on Warfarin right away.

Bucky's eyes were closed when he switched off the machine. 

"Buck?" They blinked open, but they were still dark and flat. "You okay?"

"Yeah…"

Tony reached out and rested his hand on Bucky's shoulder, not missing they way Bucky rippled under him. "I just need to take a little blood and get you to take a few pills and then you can get some sleep."

Bucky nodded, so Tony wiped off the gel, removed the pads, and set the box of wipes by Bucky's hips for him to clean up to his satisfaction. It was so unlike the easy way he'd combed his fingers through Bucky's hair; now things were cold and tense. He drew Bucky's blood as quickly as he could, having to use the back of Bucky's hand, since the crash IV had blown his vein, a shiny, silver bruise spreading across the inside of his elbow.

Tony took the cart back out with the samples, making sure the echo results were mailed to Dr. Cho for review and the blood samples sent to the lab. He hit the supply cupboard after, grabbing a blood bag and dispensing the drugs Bucky would need. 

Back in the room, Bucky had his shirt back on and was lying on his side, blinking at the far wall. Tony injected a few doses into his blood bag then handed Bucky the nozzle. He sucked listlessly, consuming the blood, but without the usual pleasure. When Tony handed him a few pills, to tossed them in his mouth then stuck the blood nozzle back in, swallowing visibly. 

It had to be exhausting, sure, almost dying and all that, but Tony missed, viscerally, when Bucky would look to him for comfort. Now, even though he'd had his head in his lap only an hour or two ago, Bucky would barely meet his eye.

"Do you… want me to stay?" Tony tried, half hoping Bucky would say no and he could go home and sleep himself, and half-hoping he'd say yes.

But Bucky shook his head. "Just want to sleep."

"Okay. I'm upping monitoring again. Can I put a pulse oximeter on your finger while you sleep? It won't make noise."

"Okay."

Tony hooked up the machine and clipped the end on Bucky's finger, swallowing heavily at the way Bucky's hand hung limply in his. Finished, he stood, knees creaking. "Alright. I'm going to… head out."

Bucky nodded.

"If you need anything, you can call. I'll come."

Bucky just closed his eyes, and Tony took that as his cue to leave.

**

Tony stood in front of Bucky's door for a long time the next morning. He was exhausted. He'd gone home, showered, jacked off in the shower thinking about Bucky pressing him up against the wall, left the shower and shivered in his towel on his bedroom floor for almost an hour, alternating between delayed terror and the horrific guilt of having thought about that while he touched himself.

Eventually, he'd tired himself out and collapsed into bed, feeling much more forgiving of himself the next morning. It had been an insane day - he couldn't really judge his body for the way it reacted. But now, faced with Bucky once more, his stomach squirmed with anxiety. Would Bucky want a different caregiver now? Want to leave? If anything had happened in the night, they would have let Tony know, so he was still stable - but would he want to see Tony?

Tony knocked lightly then opened the door and pushed inside. Instead of his usual position on the bed, Bucky was standing pressed up against the far wall, and he started pacing back and forth when Tony entered the room. "You lied to me," he said right away.

"I'm sorry."

"I don't -" He ran a hand back through his hair. 

"You were going to die, and I needed help to revive you."

"I know." Bucky's eyes cut to the door then back to Tony. "I know."

"I can have a different doctor assigned to your case." Tony's throat ached as the words clawed out. "I can leave. I'll pick someone I know you'll like - Dr. Foster is wonderful. You'll love her. You won't have to see me anymore. I'll -"

"Stark."

Tony forced himself to quiet. Bucky was radiating intense discomfort, apparently at immense odds with himself. Tony leaned back against the door and waited.

"You said I could leave whenever I wanted to."

"I did say that. It's true."

"Even now, knowing that without the medication, I could die?"

"Yes, even now. That's your choice to make."

"You broke your promise yesterday to save my life."

Tony nodded in agreement. "You weren't making an informed decision yesterday. I had to assume, since you'd never discussed a DNR with me, that your life was more important than your trust in me. However, if you want to leave now, even knowing it could be a death sentence, or if you want to fill out paperwork so we won't revive you if it happens again, we can do that."

"Does it really matter?" Bucky's shoulders curled up as he twisted in on himself, and Tony longed to go offer him the comfort of touch he'd asked for last night. But it wasn't welcome now.

"It matters to me. I hope it'll matter to you, someday, if not today."

"If I leave now, am I a dead man?"

Tony shook his head and dropped his eyes to the floor. "I don't know. I can give you a month's supply of the meds, but without running more tests we can't be sure you're out of the woods. But even if you are, you're not on the blood registry, you don't have training for the WDD and you don't know how to handle the legal system as a vampire. You've never lived out there like that. The odds that you break and attack someone without a viable way to get blood are pretty high. But that's just based on statistics. I can't - I can't tell you, Bucky."

Bucky paced across to the wall then stopped and turned back, but instead of continuing his path, he leaned back against the wall. "I feel trapped, like this is just another cage."

"I know." Tony pulled in a deep slow breath then let it out. He didn't want Bucky to go, didn't want to lose him, but he had no choice but to leave it up to him, in the end. The program wasn't something he could force. It had to be chosen. "If you want to leave, I won't stop you. I hope you don't, though."

Bucky didn't look up from the floor, chest rising and falling slowly and shakily. Finally he asked, "Do you need to do any tests today?"

"No… I'd like you to take your meds, but other than that, there's nothing I  _ have  _ to do today." Tony pointedly put the full bottle of pills on the table by the door.

"Can I - can you…" Bucky's jaw tightened. "Go."

"You want me to leave?" Tony confirmed.

"Yes. Please. I just can't - I don't know if I can do this anymore."

Tony opened and closed his mouth. The way those words made his stomach sink and his eyes sting told him how over-attached he'd become to his patient. It wasn't safe to be so devastated by Bucky struggling. But if he chose to leave? Tony would be heartbroken, terrified to see Bucky's name on the morgue list someday too soon. "I can leave. Is there anything else you need before I do?"

Bucky shook his head then held his hand out in front of him, pausing Tony as he turned to the door. "Can I - if I need to leave, how do I ask?"

Tony swallowed back the urge to fling himself across the room and beg Bucky not to go. "Just ask. Or just go. The door is only locked to the outside. If there's anything you need to take with you, just ask and someone can leave it outside the door. It's your choice, Buck. Any time. I hope - I hope you'll stay, but this isn't about what I want. It's you. You've always been free here."

Bucky shook his head a little like he didn't believe freedom could really exist and Tony turned to go. 

"I'll be back tomorrow morning, but you can call for me if you need me sooner."

Bucky didn't say anything so Tony turned to the door and slipped out of it. He stood in the doorway for a long time, uncertain, then very pointedly left the door cracked, a gap large enough for Bucky to step through. There was a clear path to the front door, an unlocked supply closet on the way, complete with a blood fridge. Bucky might be surprised to find himself in an enormous compound in upstate New York, but they weren't that far out of the city, and there were several shuttle busses each day that didn't ask for ID. Still, Tony begged silently that Bucky wouldn't take the opportunity.

Tony hustled down the hall and instead of heading for his office, he turned left and trotted over to the security centre. Inside, was a bank of monitoring screens, most dimly lit, but each one could be turned up by a centre control system. "Hey, Barton," he said to the man in the chair. 

"Hey, Stark. What's up?"

"I have a flight risk I want to monitor." Tony flipped through options until he found the camera that showed the door area of Bucky's room. Monitoring was at different levels for each suite and they could be altered manually if needed. The AI system processed all the audio and video and alerted the security centre if anything concerning flagged. It was simpler than trying to have people monitoring everything, and did a better job of maintaining a little privacy for the vampires in their care. 

"J will tell you if he bolts," Barton said.

"I know. I just - I want to see it myself." Tony turned up the brightness, and Bucky's room came into view. He was standing just on the edge of the camera's field of vision, not pacing anymore, but standing eerily still. His eyes were fixed on the open door. 

After a long, painfully still moment, Bucky turned his chin enough that he could flick his eyes up to the corner where the camera was. Tony wondered if Bucky knew he was watching, if he thought this was some kind of test. In a way, it was. If Bucky didn't want to be here, nothing Tony could offer him would help. He'd had to stop blaming himself a long time ago for the people that got hurt by the vampires that left their program. Not everyone could be helped.

Tony wanted to help Bucky more than anything.

"Don't go," he whispered to himself.

"What's that?" Barton asked.

"Nothing." Tony scrubbed his fingers through his hair. He was exhausted, not just from the late night last night, but he'd been put through the ringer, thinking he was watching Bucky dying and then waiting for him to leave. And all after their far too charged bath - everything was so good, then, when the worst thing Tony worried about was the little burst of butterflies Bucky's smile set alight in him. And now he was sitting here waiting to watch him walk to his death. 

Bucky took a step towards the door, and Tony's heart rammed against his ribs, aching. Bucky's hand stretched out and landed on the edge of the door, holding it open. His knuckles were white, gripping the door hard enough that Tony was surprised the metal wasn't dimpling. He looked to the bottle of pills, up to the camera, then back down the hall.

Then he pushed on the door hard enough to swing it closed. The outside lock engaged with an audible click, and Tony let out a long, slow breath, his throbbing lungs screeching with relief. 

Bucky pushed his hair out of his face, sighed once, from head to foot, then shot another glance at the camera. "I don't want another doctor. Only Stark," he said, firm and clear, then he disappeared into the bathroom.

Tony tipped facedown on the desk in front of him.

"You okay, Tony?" Barton asked.

"I'm fine. It's just - it's been a long day."

"It's nine am."

_ "Really  _ long," Tony corrected. "I'm going home. I'm not needed here and I need to catch up on sleep."

"Alright, man. Take care of yourself."

Tony set the screens back to normal and pushed himself to shaky feet. Barton shot him a curious look as he shuffled out of the room, but Tony ignored him. He let the buzzy static that had threatened to fill his mind finally sneak in. He had a car here, but he didn't feel up to driving, so he went to his office and shuffled through paperwork until the next shuttle arrived. He slumped in a seat on the bus all the way back into the city. He got off at Grand Central and walked the half block to his apartment building. It wasn't fancy, but it was decently nice in the ways that mattered.

He fumbled his key into the lock then kicked the door behind him as he made a beeline for the coffeemaker. He'd refuel then nap for a few hours, then get up and start the day over.

And tomorrow when he went in to the facility, Bucky would be there, waiting for him.


	5. Chapter 5

Tony didn't sleep well, despite how exhausted he was. His napping and caffeine-fueled paperwork binges had wrecked the day, and thoughts of Bucky had wrecked the night. The thing was, he probably should have taken himself off the case after that bath. But at this point, if he left Bucky, Bucky would leave the facility, and he didn't want that. So despite his monumental personal involvement - brief, panic-fueled masturbation session notwithstanding - he was still the best doctor for the job.

When Tony pushed open the door with a knock, he was surprised to find Bucky sitting cross-legged on the bed, with his breakfast tray in his lap. He looked up and saw Tony; his expression was unreadable. Then he grabbed the muffin from his tray and flicked it over in Tony's direction. Tony caught it on pure instinct, staggering back a step.

"Don't like those," Bucky said. "Too sweet. Should be perfect for your untamable sweet tooth."

"Hey!" Tony tucked his tablet under one arm and started peeling the wrapper off the muffin. "I eat spinach."

"Only cause you're a doctor," Bucky retorted. "If you had your way, you'd eat nothing but doughnuts and coffee."

Tony opened his mouth to protest then snapped it shut again, into the side of the muffin. "You're not wrong," he said, around sweet blueberries and crunchy sugar topping. He crossed the room and sat on the wheely chair in the corner, shuffling it over towards Bucky. "How are you feeling?"

"A lot better." Bucky waved towards the heart monitor. "I wore it again last night. In case that helps."

"Good. Thank you." Tony scrolled through the results from the heart monitor, chewing through the rest of the muffin. There were no pings all night or the night before. "Nothing scary going on. Dr. Cho reviewed the echo results and saw a wee baby clot that she thinks caused the problem. Your heart's already doing its fancy healing thing." Tony stood and found his clipboard, flicking through his files as he sat again. "We're going to keep you on the blood thinners and add a thrombolytic. Infection seems clear now, but a clot can be a delayed reaction. Hopefully it was just a fluke event, and the meds will take care of it. We'll keep testing and if we get any pings at all on the monitor, we'll run an angio. Heck, I might run an angio just for fun."

A small smile twitched the corners of Bucky's lips. "You just want to get a good look at my insides, Stark."

The relief that flooded Tony at Bucky's silly quip was so intense, he thought he might be having a hot flash. He almost had to swallow his tongue to shoot back, "Any way that I can!" Were things back to normal? "Can I get a chomp?"

Bucky nodded, setting aside his empty tray.

Tony finished his muffin and balled up the wrapper and tossed it in the garbage. He pulled out a chomp strip and unfolded it. "Right here."

Bucky opened his mouth and let Tony position the paper, then bit down, hard enough that his jaw flexed visibly.

The little spots of blue were dramatically reduced from last time. "Lookin good, Buck."

"Bet you say that to all the vampires."

"Only the ones that are becoming less venomous by the day. I'll be honest, as confident as I am that you didn't have an allergic reaction, I'm really hopeful that it only takes one dose to de-venom you. Just in case. And this is looking really good." Tony set the paper aside. "Do you mind if I -" he gestured towards Bucky's neck. 

Bucky nodded and tipped his chin up, so Tony scooted his chair closer then touched his fingertips to the glands on either side of Bucky's throat. He could still feel them there, under the skin, but they were a little smaller. He rubbed his thumb over them, making sure they still moved freely under the skin and weren't swelling or forming odd shapes as they died. 

"All good." Tony's voice was low, with Bucky so close, and the vampire tilted his head back down while Tony's hands were still on his neck, intense eyes fixed on Tony's. 

"Good."

Tony couldn't keep his fingers from curling around to press next to the gland and find the slow, steady throb of Bucky's pulse. When Bucky leaned in just a fraction closer, instead of flinching away, Tony whispered, "I'm sorry."

"I know." Bucky's eyes fell closed. "I'm sorry too. I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Tony leaned back, letting his fingers fall away. "Nah. Just a little bump. I'm fine."

Bucky's hand twitched up off his thigh then fell again, and Tony couldn't help wondering if he had planned to check the back of Tony's head. "They always came in groups," Bucky said softly. 

Tony folded his hands and leaned forward onto them, listening.

"Even starved and drugged we were still stronger, so they came in groups. Sometimes I'd pass out from hunger and I'd wake up and they'd all be around me. They'd haul you out and dump you in a -" Bucky waved his hand vaguely like he didn't know the word for a ring shaped room "- with another one. It was fight or die."

"I'm sorry you went through that."

Bucky didn't have to say why he'd been reminded of that. He shook his head then tipped backwards onto the bed. "So what's on the docket today, Stark?"

"I'd like to take some more blood. If you'd like to, we can talk about the next stage of your progress here. Last time I said we had your health stable, you had a heart attack just to make a liar out of me so I'm not making that mistake again," Tony said, and Bucky snorted. "But I will say that we don't have anything pressing at the moment, as long as you tell me if you're feeling dizzy, light-heated, nauseous, uncertain, confused, hungry, reckless -"

"Stark."

"Okay, basically keep me posted, is what I'm trying to say."

Bucky's lips twitched. "Will do."

"So at this point, our goal is to give you whatever you need. I have a tablet I can hook you up with that's full of courses on law, culture, etc. The things you'll need to know. List of obnoxious millennial slang, that kind of thing. I'll leave that with you and you can work through it at your own pace."

Bucky tucked his arms behind his head and quirked an eyebrow at Tony. "You didn't tell me there was going to be homework."

"Oh, don't fuss. I know you'll pull straight A's."

Bucky muttered something to himself with a chuckle, but Tony didn't catch it. 

"So what do you want to do now?"

Bucky eyed him for a moment. "Play cards?"

Tony grinned. "Just a warning, I play to win."

"You'd better."

**

Over the next two weeks, they did little more than play games, do regular chomp and blood tests, and watch movies. Bucky was too nervous to try another bath, so he showered, while Tony sat on the toilet cover and chatted about nothing consequential, checking in every time Bucky was quiet for too long. But his heart monitor was clear every night, he didn't have any more symptoms, and all the tests came back fine. A second echo couldn't find any clots.

After the first week, Tony had Bucky moved to another suite, one with UV-controlled windows, a night patio, and no camera monitoring. It was also decorated more like an apartment, with more furniture, some books and games, and a TV.

Bucky's first clear chomp was the following Monday, and he stayed clear every day after for the rest of the week. On Friday, Tony filed his last test. "You're officially de-venomed."

"What? Really?" Bucky looked up from the tablet he'd been clicking through, offering his teeth to Tony without even looking when he waved the pink sheet in his face. 

"Yup. All clear, five days in a row." Tony reached out and pinched Bucky's neck. He could barely feel the gland. "All done. You'll have to do a test before every bite for the next two weeks, just to be sure, but if you want to, we can start willing donor training."

Bucky's eyes were fixed firmly on Tony now, the tablet slipping down to the bed. "Really?"

"Yeah. You want to?"

He swallowed heavily. "Of course. Shit. Is it -? Yes. I want to. But, uh, you'll have to bring someone in, right? I don't know if I can do that - I'm just still… not really…"

Tony cut him off, resting a hand on his arm. It was a terrible idea, but he'd known he was going to do this all along. "We don't need to bring anyone in. I'm not on the database, but that doesn't mean I'm not a willing donor. I'll teach you how to do it safely, okay?"

Bucky's jaw worked for a moment, then his tongue flicked out to rub against the point of one of his fangs. "You don't have to do that for me."

"It's my job," Tony said. It wasn't a lie, not exactly, but it certainly wasn't something he'd be expected to do.

"I don't want to hurt you."

Tony shuffled a little closer. "Well, that's good. If you wanted to hurt me - or anyone for that matter - we wouldn't be able to do the training at all. One of the crucial aspects is that you don't want to hurt anyone. It's about safe feeding for both you and the donor." Bucky nodded. "I'll have a panic button. If I say stop and you don't stop, I'll have to push it and someone will come in here. I need you to know that so you know what risk you're taking. They won't hurt you, but if you can't stop, they will sedate you. Understand?"

"Yes."

"Still want to do it?"

Bucky's eyes flicked from Tony's face down to his neck and he swallowed again. "Yes. Please."

"Alright. I'll grab the kit." Tony patted Bucky's knee then stood and pushed out of the room. He stuck his head in at security and told Barton he was doing stage one bite training and Barton made a note. Tony had trained dozens of vampires and while he'd had a few minor incidents, and a fair amount of pain, he'd never needed intervention. Standards recommended at least two people present for bite training, but Tony had never been one for standards and everyone knew that. 

He returned with a case that he tossed on the bed and clicked open. He sat on the edge of the bed and urged Bucky up beside him. "We're going to start with the forearm. It's not the easiest for you, but it's the safest." Tony pulled an antiseptic wipe out of the kit and rubbed it over his left forearm. "It's usually a good idea to adopt a bit of a submissive position, leave the donor's arms and legs free so they don't feel trapped."

Bucky turned to look at Tony then slowly slid to his knees next to the bed, looking up at Tony through long lashes. "Like this?"

"Jesus, Bucky. For fucks sake…." Tony sucked in a breath then flicked his eyes to the ceiling, willing his creative imagination not to take off like a shot. He glared back down at him where Bucky had adopted a cheeky smirk. "Yes, exactly like that. Ass." Tony tossed the wipe away then grabbed a blood bag and clicked on a nozzle. "Drain this."

"You want me to drink before I drink?"

"Yes. The less hungry you are, the less intense this will be."  _ For you,  _ Tony added in his head. 

Bucky gripped the nozzle between his teeth and downed the bag quickly, his hungry gaze flicking from Tony's face to his arm and back up again. 

"Your instincts will tell you where to bite. Scent it first. I can repeat a hundred times that the only live blood you should drink is through the WDD, but if you ever don't, you have to be careful. Drinking infected blood can kill you, even when the donor shows no symptoms. Scent first. If it doesn't smell right, don't do it."

Bucky nodded and tossed aside the nozzle of the now empty bag. He shuffled even closer, and Tony's body tingled with anticipation, not just from the bite he knew was about to come, but just having Bucky on his knees at his feet was making him antsy. 

"Can I touch you?" Tony asked. Bucky nodded again, so Tony reached out and touched the back of his neck, resisting the urge to grip hard, grab his hair, or cup his cheek.

Tony guided Bucky's face down to where his arm lay across his lap. He flexed his hand a few times around the panic button he'd tucked in his grip, then relaxed. "Go on. Take your time. Bite slowly. When you taste it, your gut's going to tell you to suck as hard as possible. If you do, you'll blow the vein and it won't flow easily. Try to be delicate, not just for your sake, but for mine. And don't let your jaw snap down or you'll get me with all your teeth. All you need is your fangs to get it flowing. Latch with your lips not your jaw."

Bucky leaned in close enough to brush his nose across Tony's skin. "Just smells like rubbing alcohol," he muttered, but a second later, Tony could see his natural instincts click in. His nostrils flared and he pressed in closer, one hand snapping to Tony's ankle and gripping hard. His lips parted and he ran his teeth along the inside of Tony's elbow, followed by his tongue.

"Take it slow," Tony reminded him gently. He kept his hand on the back of Bucky's neck, thumb rubbing soothing circles behind his ear. 

Bucky took a deep breath in. "You smell amazing," he breathed against Tony's arm, so softly, it was like Tony felt it instead of heard it. Then he stilled and touched his teeth to Tony's arm. He didn't move.

Tony forced himself to stay relaxed. "Go on. You've got it."

Bucky sunk his teeth in.

"Ah!" Tony squeezed his eyes shut. It hurt, but in a way he was used to, a way that set his body tingling. It had been a while, and it was all the more intense, more overwhelming, not just because of the gap, but because it was Bucky - and there was no way to avoid that fact. "Buck -" slipped out of his mouth as Bucky latched his lips to Tony's skin and started to suck. 

The lightheadedness hit quickly, and Tony braced his other hand on the bed by his hip. Bucky sucked hard, too overwhelmed by the blood, and Tony twitched his fingers in warning. Bucky swallowed mouthful after mouthful, near desperate, small noises ripping out of his throat. When he'd had enough, Tony snapped his hand back to his neck. "Bucky. Time to stop. Buck."

Buck shuddered from head to foot then stilled, fangs still deep in Tony's skin, but no longer actively sucking. 

"Shh…" Tony petted up through his hair. "Take your time."

Bucky licked Tony's arm, blood spilling out of the sides of his lips, then started pulling free. Tony gripped his own lip between his teeth, wincing as Bucky pulled free too roughly. Bucky licked his lips then started lapping at Tony's arm. 

"Okay, okay." Tony eased him back, and sure enough, a dark bruise was already blooming around the open wound from Bucky's fangs. Tony took a piece of gauze from the bite kit and folded it inside his elbow, holding his arm up, level with his shoulder. It stung deliciously. 

Bucky turned wide eyes on him, his frame shaking slightly. 

"You okay?" Tony asked.

"I'm - yes. Wow. Are you? I didn't hurt you… did I?"

"No, no. You did fine. Good job. How was it?" Tony grinned at him, and a smile split Bucky's lips, revealing his blood-stained fangs. 

"Fucking incedible."

Tony laughed, heat flushing his cheeks.

"You taste even better than you smell, Stark." Bucky still had a hand on Tony's ankle, though it was gentle now, his fingertips sneaking up under the hem of Tony's scrub pants. 

Tony met his gaze and couldn't seem to pull away. Bucky licked his lips and teeth until all the blood was gone. Tony cleared his throat and lowered his arm again. The gauze fell loose, and Bucky's eyes cut to the wound. There was something wanting about his expression, so Tony took another wipe from the kit and handed it to Bucky, with a questioning quirk of his brow. 

Bucky nodded once then ripped the packet open. He took the hand that was on Tony's ankle and moved it up to cup Tony's elbow, then gently wiped the stains of blood away. The bite had stopped bleeding - it was nice and clean, just the two fang holes. When Bucky was done cleaning it, Tony peeled open a bandaid and stuck it overtop. The bite throbbed with a pleasant soreness. "I've missed that," Tony said, before he realized how risky that was to let out.

But Bucky just smiled. "Thank you."

Tony couldn't help brushing his hair out of his face, starting to feel a bit woozy, even though he hadn't let Bucky take much at all. "You did a really good job. Little practice and you'll be approved in no time."

"Do you need to lie down?"

"Just for a bit. Come on. Let's watch a movie." Tony tipped sideways on the bed, and Bucky took the bite kit and put it on the floor. He sat sideways on the bed, his back against the wall and his legs bent over Tony's where he sprawled long, head on Bucky's pillow. 

It was a couple weeks before Tony could safely donate again, and if Bucky didn't learn how to take only small amounts each time, it would be even longer next time. In the meantime, Bucky worked through his courses on the tablet. Little bits of his past leaked out as they chatted, but he was pretty locked up. Still, it seemed that he was loosening, less twitchy, less tense. Noises outside his room didn't seem to bother him anymore, and Tony could coax a laugh out of him more often than not. 

The… not exactly  _ downside,  _ but other side, anyway, was that Bucky got bolder around Tony. It started with little touches, a hand on his ankle or arm, brushes of his fingers, a bump of the shoulder. Before, it had been Tony touching Bucky, mostly to offer comfort or safety, but after the first bite, the tables turned, and Tony found himself under Bucky's cool, strong fingers several times a day. He knew that he should stop it, encourage Bucky to keep it professional between them, remind him he was his doctor, not his friend, but he couldn't bring himself to. 

Every touch sent little fireworks flaring up, reminded him of Bucky's teeth sinking into his skin, and made his stomach buzz with butterflies. 

While Tony suffered through cravings of one kind, he taught Bucky how to control cravings of another. Next time he live donated, he didn't fill Bucky up with bagged blood first. It was just as intense as the first time, Bucky bending over his lap to sink his fangs into Tony's vein, one hand holding onto his ankle for dear life. But Bucky turned out to be a good drinker, gentle and controlled, and after only a few more bites, Tony was signing off on his paperwork to certify Bucky to register with the database, as much as the thought of him drinking from someone else churned his stomach.

"We can try neck next," Tony said, as he lay back on the bed recovering.

Bucky paced across the room, vibrating with post-blood rush. "Really?"

"Sure." Tony flopped flat on his back with a groan. He felt the strange sort of euphoria that came from the drinking combined with a delicious, full body ache.

Bucky bounced around for a while then sat down hard next to Tony. He brushed two fingertips lightly up Tony's unbitten arm and bent over him. "I think I'd like to meet another doctor," he said, and Tony's heart sunk. 

He pushed himself up on his elbows. "Really?" He tried to keep his voice level.

Bucky nodded. "I'm supposed to leave eventually, right? So I guess I should know what it's like to meet people." He took a steadying breath. "Figure me only having met once person since Pierce's, plus a group of medics trying to save my life that I almost hurt, doesn't really seem like a great track record."

"Oh. Yeah, that's a fair point. Better to practice. I bet you'd like Dr. Foster."

Bucky's eyes narrowed. "Isn't she the one you tried to foist me off on when you thought I didn't want you anymore?" Bucky's fingers twitched against his arm again at the word  _ want,  _ and Tony had to catch his breath.

"Yeah."

"Well… as long as you don't use it as your chance to run."

Bucky had been joking, but Tony wasn't when he replied with, "Never."

**

"Dr. Foster is coming by in about an hour," Tony said from where he sat on Bucky's floor, Bucky's PlayStation in pieces in front of him.

Bucky looked up from his book, a sprawling mess on his bed. "Really?"

"Yup. Unless you don't want to."

"No, no. It's fine."

"She'll knock first."

"Okay, good."

Tony turned back to his project, trying to find the loose connection that was stopping the eject button from working. 

A little over an hour later, there was a knock on the door. Tony turned his eyes on Bucky who had tensed, but not nearly as badly as he used to. Bucky set his book aside. "Come in," he called. He stood, shifting - subtly, but not subtly enough - to stand between Tony and the door. 

Jane came in with a smile, ignoring Tony completely and looking straight to Bucky. She stayed close to the door. "Hi. I'm Jane Foster."

Bucky hovered for a moment then nodded. "James."

"It's nice to meet you, James. Tony's told me what I'm sure are all tall tales."

Bucky stepped back a little, still between Tony and Jane, but less tensely. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Like that he beats you an Uno and that you think his collectible card game obsession is cute and not sad."

Bucky barked out a laugh. "Yeah, he would say that."

"Do you mind if I come in?"

"Course not." Bucky settled on the edge of the bed again, shooting a look to Tony who gave him an encouraging nod. Jane chose a chair in the corner and curled up in it, leaning back and making herself small. Tony could see Bucky struggling with the urge to move, either to get Jane out or to put Tony on the bed behind him, but he was resisting. Tony watched him out of the corner of his eye, continuing to work on the PlayStation.

Jane pulled Bucky easily into conversation, talking about some of the research she was doing through the facility, and Bucky - a secret sucker for interesting science - fell right in. Tony had to hide his smile more than once when the conversation heated up, but it was all in good fun, and after a few hours had gone by, Bucky seemingly forgot to be concerned. 

Jane's phone buzzed loudly and she pulled it out of her pocket. "Oh shoot, I've got to go. Thanks for the chat, though, James. It was really nice to get to know you."

"You too," Bucky said, and Tony could see he was being honest. 

Jane waved goodbye to Tony and slipped out. Bucky tipped backwards onto the bed again, but didn't pick up his book, eyes on the ceiling. There was a small smile on his lips.

"Bucky's got a cruuu-ushh," Tony sing-songed quietly to himself, and Bucky snorted. 

"Watch your mouth, Stark."

"You think Jane is the shit, which is fair enough, she is."

Bucky growled, low and rough. "I'm just pleased with myself. I didn't kill her - did you see that?"

"I did. Also see the hearts in your eyes." Tony started singing, "Bucky and Jane sitting in a tree," and Bucky's growling deepened. Tony looked over at him, and the slight smile twitching his lips told him he wasn't really bothering him, so he couldn't help but keep it up.

When he rounded the chorus once again, Bucky launched himself up from the bed. "That's it."

Tony leaped up with a yelp, but he had neither the strength nor the speed to get away. Bucky was there in a flash, an arm like iron around his stomach. He swung Tony in a circle then backed him up against the wall, all in a single heartbeat. It was just like after Bucky's cardiac arrest, but entirely different. This time, the pounding in Tony's chest was all exhilaration, no fear. Bucky kept growling, vibrating where he pinned Tony to the wall. 

"Teach you to mock me," Bucky rumbled against Tony's cheek, fangs exposed.

Tony took three shaky breaths. "Does it?" he whispered, immediately regretting the words that gave away too much. 

Bucky backed off slowly, eyes fixed on Tony's neck instead of his eyes. "Guess we'll see," he replied.

Tony's hands twitched up towards Bucky but he stopped them before they could touch. "PlayStation's almost fixed," he managed to say. "End this with a little Street Fighter?"

Bucky dragged his heated eyes up from Tony's neck. "Sure," he said. But they both knew it wouldn't be the end of anything.


	6. Chapter 6

Tony struggled out of sleep to the sound of his beeper screeching into the dark of his bedroom. "Fuck." He blinked at the flashing screen. The code was a long string of numbers, but he knew what it meant. It was a non-critical emergency, for his only patient. Non-critical meant that Bucky wasn't in immediate danger but had requested his presence. It was honestly a surprise. Bucky had been doing so well over the last several weeks, and the panic button pushes were usually earlier on in a patient's stay. Tony had gotten lax.

Jane had come by more, even a few times when Tony wasn't there, and Bucky continued to like her. His trays were delivered with the door open, now, and Bucky enjoyed telling Tony how many people he'd talked to each week.

The touching had only gotten worse, downright flirting most of the time, and Bucky's feedings were as charged as ever. He'd finished the courses on his tablet, gotten approved by the WDD, and was full and bright and healthy again. Tony'd never been so thrilled with a patient's progress, but at the same time, there was a big part of him that didn't want Bucky to get better.

Now, though, that part was wincing with guilt. If he was getting a code in the middle of the night, something was wrong.

It was only just past midnight, but he'd knocked back a glass of wine and taken an early night. He poured himself out of bed and into sweatpants, all while ordering a cab on his phone to take him to the facility. He was too tired to drive safely, and the shuttle was too slow.

Twenty minutes later, he was knocking on Bucky's door then pushing it open. At first, he didn't see him, then a shadow moved, and he realized Bucky was tucked up in the corner by the bathroom, head pressed down on his knees and arms folded over top. Tony crossed the room and crouched in front of him. "Hey, Buck."

"Hey, Stark," he croaked back.

"You okay?"

Bucky didn't speak, apparently unable to answer the question, which basically made it a "no," by default.

"What can I do for you, right now?"

Bucky thought for a moment. "It feels too small in here."

Tony reached out and placed his hand on top of Bucky's, squeezing a little. The shiny silver scars from the infection had faded but probably wouldn't ever go away completely. Tony let the pad of his thumb trace the line that curved around Bucky's wrist. "Come with me?"

Bucky nodded, and let himself be pulled to his feet. Tony went to the keypad by the door and entered the code for the patio. He pulled the blanket off Bucky's bed then drew him out onto the enclosed patio. It was only stone tiles for a short while, surrounded by a strip of grass. High cinder block walls on two sides blocked out Bucky's neighbours, but the fourth wall was clear glass that, during the day, showed the green fields bordered by forest that surrounded the facility. Now, it was nothing but dark shadows.

Bucky stopped with one foot out on the patio stones. "I don't come out here."

"Is there a reason why?"

Bucky shrugged, his hand still wrapped around Tony's. "Feels like leaving."

"It's not. It's okay. I'll be here." Tony tossed the blanket down one-handed, which meant it was quite crumpled, but it looked cozy enough. 

Bucky let himself be pulled towards the blanket gently, Tony reaching out and taking his other hand too. He dropped to his knees and Bucky went down too. After some poking and adjusting, Tony got the two of them on their backs on the blanket, shoulders pressed tightly together.

They looked up at the stars. "Still feel too small?" Tony asked.

Bucky laughed tensely. "Feels too big now." But it wasn't serious, so Tony just pressed closer and breathed steadily, willing Bucky to match his rhythm. 

It was a long time before Bucky finally spoke.

"I dreamt about him."

"About your captor?"   


"Yeah. Pierce." Bucky sighed up at the stars. "We were entertainment, though sometimes I think he hoped we'd be more. Weapons, maybe. He starved us and then made us fight. Sometimes, they'd throw a bag of blood between two vampires, watch them fight over it. Watch if they went for the blood first or for each other." He swallowed heavily. "The  _ smell.  _ When you haven't had blood in weeks, when all the food is drugged… the smell. It's almost irresistible."

Tony waited, silent, but he let his pinky finger hook around Bucky's and hold on. Bucky didn't pull away.

"I killed them… so many. Vampires. I don't know, maybe people. It was always hazy. And it was always kill or be killed. Sometimes… sometimes, I think it would have been better if I'd let them kill me." 

"You didn't kill them. Pierce did. He was using you. If it wasn't you, it would just be someone else."

"I know that. Doesn't stop the dreams, though."

Tony squeezed his finger.

Bucky cleared his throat. "Can't remember the last time I saw the stars."

"They're pretty, yeah?"

"Yeah." He breathed the fresh air in deep then let it out again. He made no move to reclaim his finger. "Thank you for coming tonight."

"Told you I'd come. No matter what."

"I feel silly for calling you, now. It's nothing." Bucky sighed, and Tony squeezed his finger again.

"It's okay. Really."

"Where were you when they called?"

"On a date."

Bucky snorted. "Yeah, right." There was a long pause, and when Tony didn't answer, he turned towards him, brow furrowing. "Were you?"

Tony chuckled lightly and reached over to tapped his knuckle against Bucky's chest. "No, you nut. I was watching Jeopardy in my underwear and calling out wrong answers around a spoonful of ice cream." Bucky didn't need to know he'd woken him up, and to be fair, that was what he  _ had  _ been doing, before he'd passed out.

Bucky stared at him for a long time. "You're one depressing asshole, Stark."

"That's what you love about me."

Bucky didn't reply.

The stars kept twinkling, the wisps of clouds blowing past them and making them wink in and out. The evening was cooling rapidly, and Tony shivered as the cold ground sucked away more of his body heat. He could feel it when Buck rolled up on on his side, facing Tony. Tony avoided looking over for as long as he could. His stomach was vibrating with tension, and he was hyperware of every inch of his that touched Bucky. 

The vampire waited, dead still, while Tony stared pointedly at the stars, but eventually, he couldn't stand it anymore. He turned his head and found Bucky's sharp grey eyes fixed intently on him, hints of blue sticking around in the corners, now that he was drinking blood regularly. There was a question in them, and Tony didn't move, didn't speak, but he apparently answered it anyway, because in the next breath, Bucky was shifting, folding himself over Tony, and bringing his face down to tuck into Tony's neck.

Tony relaxed back on the blanket, tilting his chin aside to expose more neck, eyes falling closed. He gripped a handful of Bucky's shirt in one hand as he pressed Tony down into the ground, one leg sliding between Tony's to brace his knee and keep himself from crushing Tony with his entire weight. 

His breath was hot and intent on Tony's neck, and the first flick of his tongue made Tony shudder, the contrast with the cold night and Bucky's cold skin too much to handle. Tony's other arm snaked up Bucky's side and he twisted two fingers through his long hair. That wasn't in the Willing Donor Handbook - you were supposed to stay still and unengaged - but who the fuck was Tony kidding? He hadn't been unengaged since the first time Bucky had shot back as much sass as Tony handed out.

Bucky scented him deeply then licked again, more insistent this time, but also another question. And Tony answered by going limp under him and tipping his head as far to the side as he could. Sharp, hot fangs sunk into Tony's skin, slow but steady, not tearing the skin but slicing thought cleanly. Tingling pain shot out from the nerves in Tony's neck to spark down to Tony's fingers and up to his ear. Bucky was a live wire, a circuit that had just been completed. Tony couldn't help the way his outside knee twitched up, pressing against the leg Bucky had slotted between his thighs.

Bucky worked the bite for a long time without drawing blood, easing his fangs in and finding the right vein that wanted to give up its contents. Tony's head spun, vision going blurry as he gave into the pressure and heat and pain of Bucky wrapped around him.

Then Bucky latched his lips to Tony's skin and sucked. Tony could feel the blood drawn to the surface spill out of him and onto Bucky's eager tongue. He licked and sucked, not pulling hard enough to draw a bruise, but getting a steady stream of blood that had Tony lightheaded in no time at all.

Tony's hand tightened in Bucky's hair, his leg clamping around his hip. He was hard and he knew Bucky would feel it, but it felt like a distant thing, someone else's problem, all he could focus on now was the euphoria of being drained. If Bucky wanted it all, he'd give it.

But too soon, Bucky slowed. He licked more than he sucked, easing the wounds into closing, encouraging them to clot and seal as he lapped up any spilled blood, tongue hot on Tony's skin. His body was still a grounding weight, pinning Tony to the patio from shoulder to toe. He withdrew his fangs slowly, and Tony groaned as they slid free with another jolt of pain. It was the first sound to break the night since they'd last spoken, besides Tony's gasping breaths and the wet sucking of Bucky's mouth.

Bucky licked all over Tony's neck until the skin from his collar bone to his ear was tingling and inflamed and there was no more blood leaking from the bite. Bucky nuzzled up behind his ear, breathed in heavily, then pressed a soft kiss to the sensitive skin there. "Thank you," he whispered.

And Tony had just enough brain cells left to know just how very fucked he was.

**

Three days later, Coulson stopped Tony on the way to Bucky's room, coffee in hand. He'd given up on all his peppermint protection a long time ago, and it gave him a few extra minutes in the morning which he'd been spending on sleeping in, instead of getting to work with more than thirty seconds until his shift started.

"What's up?" Tony asked him.

"Fury wants to see you in his office."

Tony frowned. "I'm almost late."

"He said before you went in."

"Alright. No idea what about?"

Coulson shrugged. "Sorry."

"No worries." Tony changed trajectory and headed for Fury's office. The door was cracked when he arrived and Tony rapped his knuckles on the frame then stuck his head in. "You wanted to see me?"

"Hey, Stark. Come on in." Fury beckoned him in, and Tony shut the door behind him, taking the chair opposite Fury's desk. Fury looked at him consideringly for a moment then rapped his pen once against his desk. "I'm taking you off Barnes' case."

_ "What?!"  _ Tony spluttered for a moment. "What are you -?"

"Stark." Fury sighed then pinched the bridge of his nose. "Come on."

Anger welled up within Tony and bit back several seriously unprofessional words. "How it that up to you,  _ at all?"  _ he growled.

"Tony…" Fury sounded nothing but tired now. "You gave me this job because you knew you couldn't do it, you knew you'd be biased, compromised. You made me director when you bought this place and you asked me to do the stuff you knew you couldn't. This is one of those things. You and Barnes are too close. It's not safe for either of you, and it's not conducive to him moving forward." He raised his eyebrows at Tony. "Tell me I'm wrong."

He wanted to tell Fury he was wrong, wanted to tell him to fuck off, stuff his directorship up his ass, wanted to tell him he was fired, but he couldn't. Because Fury was right. "Fuck." Tony rubbed his hands over his face. "I've lost my mind."

"I know."

"I think I'm -" Tony couldn't finish the sentence, swallowing the rest back.

"I know."

"Shit." Tony balled up his fists on his thighs. "Shit."

Fury leaned back in his chair. "You gotta let him go, Tony."

"Yeah, I know." There was a hole being dug out of his chest, like someone had taken an ice cream scoop to it. He couldn't picture getting up the next morning and going to someone else's room, not seeing Bucky, laughing with him, touching him. "How did  _ you  _ know?"

"Little things. Mostly your stupid face whenever you walk out of his room. JARVIS also ran some analysis on your audio and found some red flags." Fury held up a hand. "Don't worry, I didn't read the transcripts. I don't wanna know. Some of the other facility staff had noticed small things. You're not - you're not sleeping with him, are you? Because I really don't want this to turn into a whole ethics shitstorm."

"No! No of course not. It's not… acted on. Just -" Tony huffed. "Just feelings," he grumbled. "Fuck me."

"Then get out before it's a problem. I know a lot of what we do here is in the grey zone, but your medical license isn't, and a medical board won't care if your patient was a vampire or not. There's a lot of putting yourself at risk that I can turn a blind eye to, but something that puts your patient at risk -"

"Yeah. You're right. I know. I'm sorry, Nick. It's just -" Tony slumped forward until his head hit the edge of Fury's desk. "Ugh."

"God, you're a regular tragedy. Go home, Stark. Take a shower, get drunk, come back next week and we'll have a new case for you. I won't stop you if you want to go say goodbye."

Tony nodded stiffly. "Can you ask Jane to take him on? I know she might be too busy, but he likes her. And he doesn't like new people easily."

"Yeah, no problem. She's got space for him. He should be transitioning into group soon anyway, making progress towards leaving, meeting new doctors. This is good for him."

"I know. I -" Suddenly, Tony couldn't handle the conversation anymore. He pushed his chair back with a screech and shoved to his feet. "I'll go."

"I'm sorry, Tony," Fury said, more gently than Tony had ever heard him speak before.

Tony nodded then turned away. He wanted to hate Fury for taking Bucky away, but he couldn't blame him for doing the job Tony had appointed him to do. This was Tony's fault. Tony's fault for falling for Bucky, failing to keep it profession, failing to remove himself the hundreds of times he recognized that his relationship had gone passed doctor and patient. He was a dick for putting Fury in the position of having to do this.

Tony walked down the hall until it split: left to the door outside, right towards Bucky's room.

Bucky wouldn't get it. Bucky wouldn't see anything wrong with it. All he'd see was his only friend leaving him. He might blame Tony, might blame Fury, it wouldn't matter. He'd be mad, and he'd be hurt, and selfishly, Tony couldn't bear to have that conversation be their last.

He pulled out his phone and shot off a text to Jane. 

_ Please tell him I'm sorry. You can give him my phone number if he wants an explanation. I don't mind. Thank you. Take care of him. _

Tony turned left.

**

Back at his apartment, Tony changed into sweatpants and a ratty t-shirt for a band he'd seen once as a teen and had broken up two months later. He poured himself a triple of the first bottle he put his hand on and slumped down on the couch. He turned on the TV, some reality cop show, but kept the sound low. The more he worked his way through the drink, the further into the couch he slumped. God, it was too early in the morning to be getting this drunk and too early to be feeling this sorry for himself.

The thing was, this had all been bound to end anyway. If Fury hadn't forced him to leave, either Tony would have eventually come to his senses and taken himself off the case, or Bucky would have left and maybe they could have stayed in touch, but no matter what, their little bubble would be popped. And Tony would have to get over his stupid crush. He just didn't ever want that tomorrow to be today.

Tony sighed into the couch cushions.

"Jesus, that's a lot of booze."

Tony startled up with a yelp and tumbled off the couch but a strong arm caught his and hauled him back up to his feet. "Bucky? What the  _ fuck  _ are you doing here?"

Bucky released him and took a step back, suddenly looking uncertain. "Uh. I asked to leave."

_ "What?!" _

"I left the facility. Graduated, whatever. Dr. Foster signed me out. I'm a free vampire. Got my de-venom papers and everything. Isn't that what you wanted for me?"

Tony blinked at him. "Well, yeah, but… when you were ready."

"Tony…" Bucky murmured, and the first use of his first name sent tingles rushing through Tony's veins. "I've been ready for a while."

"Then why… why didn't you say anything?"   


He just looked at Tony like he was an idiot.

Tony huffed and sat down hard on the couch, arms crossed. "God dammit. I've screwed everything up. Some doctor I am. They should take away my license. And you should go back. You still have healing to do… what about the nightmares…?"

Bucky crouched low in front of the couch and dropped a hand to each of Tony's knees. "I don't need to be inside to get therapy, Tony. You taught me everything I need to know, I've got my registry documents for the database so I can order blood bags, and Dr. Foster arranged for me to stay at one of the transition buildings. I've even got a few job interviews lined up for some temporary stuff. You did all of that already. That's not why I was staying."

"Why were you staying?" Tony couldn't help the question falling out.

Bucky leaned closer. "Do you really need to ask?" he whispered, hands sliding up Tony's knees to rest on his thighs. 

For a heartbeat, Tony almost gave into it, then he flinched back. "No."

Bucky immediately backed off, hands snapping away and curling into fists that he rested on his lap. "Oh. Sorry."

"No, not like -  _ no.  _ Buck. This isn't real." Tony took Bucky's face between his hands, cradled him gently. This would be the last time he got to touch him like this, maybe the last time he ever saw him. "You don't feel like that about me. I'm your  _ doctor.  _ I saved your life. I'm the only person who's been nice to you since nineteen forty-three. It's not real." His voice dropped lower. "What you feel for me isn't real…"

Bucky swallowed. "I - uh - I was under the impression it wasn't a one way street," he muttered.

"It doesn't matter. This isn't about me. It's - it's the damn Florence Nightingale Effect. You've never lived outside the facility after what was done to you. You've never been on your own or been in control of your life. I fed you, cared for you. It makes sense. I get why you think you feel that way, but it's not real. Buck..." Tony brushed his thumb over Bucky's cheek. "I'm really sorry, but I can't do that to you. I can't let you take the facility with you in the form of me as a security blanket. I should have removed myself from your case two days after I got it, but I didn't, and that's on me. But I'm doing it now."

Bucky stared up at him. "I've never felt this way before."

"I know. I'm sorry." Every nerve in Tony's body called out to him to bend down and kiss him, this would be the only chance that he got, but then Bucky would never leave.

Bucky dropped his gaze to the floor. "Are you in trouble with your boss? I can talk to him, explain. You never did anything inappropriate."

"I did…" Tony bit his cheek. "I really did. And you know it. But no, I'm not in trouble."

"Are you sure? I don't want you losing your job over this."

"I can't - I -" Tony sighed and tipped back until his head hit the couch, hands sliding reluctantly away from Bucky. "I can't be fired. Because I own the facility."

"What?"

"I own it. All of it. That's what makes all of this so much worse. I'm not just your doctor, Bucky, I'm your benefactor. The transition house, the job training, the blood programs, it's all me."

"I don't get it." Bucky looked around Tony's simple apartment as if it would explain it all. 

"My parents were rich. Very, very rich. And they died when I was eighteen." Unable to keep from touching him again, Tony dropped his hands down to cover Bucky's, letting their fingers wind together. "They were killed by a vampire."

"Shit."

"Yeah. I was so angry. I wanted revenge. I wanted - I don't know. I wanted to end vampires. And I was rich and young and restless and I almost did that. They found the one who did it. I was there at his hearing when they sentenced him. I thought it would give me closure but it didn't.

"And then I talked to someone, one of the few someones I had who really loved me, and he wondered if maybe I couldn't do something better. So I built the facility, and I went to medical school, and I was that asshole in every lecture putting up my hand and asking how it applied to vampires. I didn't want any other kids to lose their parents because a horrible disease made some poor, lost soul lose their mind with hunger. I've put every one of my billions of dollars into trying to fix it. So maybe I don't make you fight other vampires, and I don't drug you, and I don't starve you, but I do own you, in a way, and it's just not okay, Bucky. It was never okay. And I'm sorry. So sorry."

Bucky sat for a long time, perfectly still as only a vampire could, then he turned sharp eyes on Tony. "How long?"

"How long what?"

"How long do I have to live in the real world, without your help, before you believe me when I say that I love you?"

Tony's heart dropped out at the words neither of them had ever dared to use before, goosebumps erupting in the wake of tingles that shot down his arms and legs. He spluttered uselessly for a moment jolting up to his feet and throwing his hands in the air. "I - I don't know. A - a year? I don't know. Until you know what you're doing, I guess. Until you realize that you don't, not really."

Bucky's eyes darkened and he pressed forward, making Tony stumble backwards, away from the couch, until his back hit the wall. Bucky braced a hand on either side of his head and leaned in dangerously close. "Okay," he whispered. He ducked down and gently brushed his lips across Tony's in a featherlight kiss then traced them down the column of Tony's throat. "See you in a year."

He disappeared, the door snicking shut behind him as he whisked out of the apartment.

"What the fuck?" Tony asked the empty room, shivering. Had that really happened? Had Bucky really shown up, offering himself to Tony, and Tony had  _ sent him away?  _

He staggered back to the couch, downed the rest of his drink and burrowed face first into the cushions. He was never coming out again.

**

It was three days before Tony went back to work. He spent the first two pickling his woes and the third recovering from it, and then he decided that he either had to go back to work or quit entirely.

He walked straight to Fury's office and was handed a folder with his new case. After getting all the paper medical records in the system with JARVIS' help, he straightened his scrubs and made for the new patient's room. She was a fourteen year old girl, homeless, who'd been attacked on the street and taken to the hospital when someone had found her bleeding out. The vampirism took and the hospital transferred her to the facility for her recovery. 

Tony could help her. He had to focus on that.

**

The next several months went by in a blur. Tony did his best not to think about Bucky and what he'd lost, because whenever he did, he just cycled through hating himself for letting it get as far as it did, hating himself for letting Fury pull him off the case, hating himself for telling Bucky to go, and finally hating himself for not saying "I love you" back, when he had the chance.

As far as his feelings went, nothing had changed.

Bucky, on the other hand, was clearly doing well. Tony didn't let himself indulge in checking up on him often, but every few weeks, he couldn't help but type his name into the system. Bucky signed up for the WDD, but didn't use it, ordering blood bags instead. He stayed at the transition house for about three months, then started acquiring international paperwork and, eventually, left. It looked like he was travelling to Europe, and after that, there wasn't a way for Tony to track his movements. 

He was gone, over whatever fleeting obsession he'd had for the man who saved him, and Tony had to accept that. Maybe someday Bucky would come back, tell Tony his story, thank him for his new life. Maybe they could find a way to be friends. Or maybe Tony would never know what happened to him. Either way, he needed to move on with his life.

The facility stayed busy, and Tony started taking on more cases at a time, keeping himself working as much as possible. He didn't date, but he thought about thinking about dating, and he called that progress.

There were only two times when he let himself think about Bucky in a truly indulgent way: in the shower, and when he woke up in the middle of the night, heart pounding with false anxiety, and he wrapped himself in a blanket, went out on the balcony, and looked up at the stars.


	7. Chapter 7

"Give me your money!" A man in a dark, hooded sweatshirt stepped down the alley, and the beam of a streetlight revealed the determined cut of his jaw and the gun-shaped bulge in his pocket where his hand disappeared.

"Are you serious?" Tony barely resisted stomping his foot like a petulant child. He'd paused at the corner, debating if he should take the longer, safer way home, and had opted for the faster, sketchier one. And now he was being mugged. Today. "I'm covered in blood - not my own, by the way - sweat, vampire vomit - which, yes, is worse than human - and god knows what else. I'm exhausted and in desperate need of a drink, and I'm getting mugged?"

"Shut up, man. Just give me your wallet." The mugger's voice shook, but the bulge in his pocket was pressed forward towards Tony threateningly.

"I don't even carry cash," Tony grumbled. "It's just a bunch of credit cards I'm going to cancel as soon as I get home - so that won't do you any good, and my Sam's Club card, which I guess might help you buy the super jumbo pack of 3-ply toilet paper, but with what money?"

"Would you  _ shut up?  _ Hand it over!"

Tony took half a step towards the mugger, then held up his hands when the bulge in the man's pocket twitched towards him. "Okay, I'm going to get it out. Hey - here's a thing, though. I have this old Pokemon card in there that my best friend gave to me in like fifth grade, and I'm kind of fond of it - it's not worth anything, it's not even a foil, and it's been in there so long that you can barely read it, so it's far from mint, but it's like, a sentimental thing, right? So can I just take that out -?"

"Shut up!" The mugger ripped his hand out of his pocket and yup, not a bluff, that was a real gun. 

"Whoa." Tony put his hands up again and took a step backwards. He was opening his mouth to try and say something conforming - which he should have been good at, as a doctor, but he rarely was - when the guy yelped, cut off into a strangled cry followed by silence, and disappeared from view.

It took Tony's brain a second to catch up to what had happened, but when the motion blur cleared, he saw the mugger slumped down against the brick wall of the alley, motionless, with  _ Bucky  _ standing over him, one hand curled around his skull, fingers digging in a little.

"Bucky!" Tony stumbled forward. "Don't kill him. Oh, god. Did you kill him?"

"No. I can hear his heart beating. And he's breathing. Take the gun."

"Jesus  _ fuck,  _ Bucky. What the holy shit. Oh, my god." Tony pressed a hand over his chest. "Am  _ I _ breathing? Holy shit."

"Take the gun, Tony. So I don't  _ have  _ to kill him."

"Fucking.  _ Fuck."  _ Tony stumbled forward and plucked the gun out of the man's limp hand. He kept the barrel pointed down as he stumbled back again.

"Are you okay?"

"Am  _ I  _ okay?! You just almost killed a man," Tony hissed. "Get out of here!"

Bucky finally turned to look at Tony, and he watched as the rage in his eyes faded to sharp concern. Tony reached out a hand towards him then snatched it back. Bucky rumbled a growl low in his chest.

Tony pointed at him. "You have to go."

"I'm not leaving you here."

"You have to. You just assaulted a man. They're going to put you in jail and the facility won't be able to help. Please go. He's unconscious and I have his weapon. I'm going to call 911. It'll be okay, but you can't be here."

"He was threatening you."

"I know." Tony stepped close and this time he did touch, landing a hand on Bucky's shoulder. He hadn't touched him in six months, and his stomach churned with more than just adrenaline from the attempted mugging. Bucky's growl faded away. "I know. You saved me, but now I need you to go. Please."

Bucky struggled visibly for a long, agonized moment, then stepped back away from the mugger. Tony bent in his place, pressing his fingers to the man's neck. Yeah, he was still breathing, heart rate normal. There wasn't even any blood on his head. Bucky had been much gentler than it had looked from where Tony was standing. Still, he likely had a concussion, and a brutal neck strain. Tony couldn't summon much sympathy for him.

When Tony turned to tell Bucky to leave, again, he was already gone, the alleyway empty save for him and the unconscious mugger. 

He stepped back again, out of reach if the man should wake, then carefully opened the gun and emptied out the bullets. He put them in his pocket, found the safety and turned that on as well, then took out his cell phone and called 911. While it rang, he looked around the alley, and found a metal garbage can lid, twisted and rusty but still sturdy. He picked it up and carried it over the limp man, tossing it nearby.

"911, what is your emergency?"

"An attempted mugging. I'll need police, but also an ambulance. I - uh - subdued the mugger."

"Where are you?"

Tony named the crossroad. "Two alleys down from the dry cleaner."

"You say you've subdued the mugger?"

"Yes, ma'am. With a garbage can lid. He's unconscious, but still breathing, heart rate normal. I'm a doctor."

"I've dispatched emergency services. Please tell me what happened."

"I was walking down an alley by my neighbourhood and a man came out and threatened me with a gun-shaped bulge in his pocket. I was trying to talk him down, when he took the bulge out and it was definitely a gun. I sort of panicked and hit him with a garbage can lid. He almost certainly has a concussion."

"He's unconscious now, sir?"

"Yes."

"Are you still in danger?"

"I don't think so. I have his gun and I've taken the bullets out. Also I doubt he'll be able to stand up properly, let alone hurt me if he wakes up any time soon."

"Are you hurt?"

"No, ma'am, just shaken up."

Tony heard a siren in the distance and told the dispatcher so.

"If you can, please go to the sidewalk and wave the emergency crews over so they know where to look."

"I can do that."

"You say you're a doctor?"

Tony walked to the end of the alley, keeping an eye on the mugger, half to make sure he didn't wake up and stumble off, and half to make sure Bucky didn't sneak back and eat him. "Yes. Dr. Tony Stark."

"Oh." The woman's voice changed, and Tony braced himself. "Oh, you're responsible for the facility, aren't you?"

"Yes, that's me."

"I - thank you," she said, and Tony startled.

"Pardon?"

"Thank you. You guys saved my brother's life." Her voice had gone soft and wavering, not the firm, professionalism it had been full of moments before.

"Oh." Tony didn't know what to say. "You're welcome." A First Response fire truck pulled up in front of the alley and Tony waved to them, as two EMTs hopped down. Only a few seconds later, a police cruiser parked beside it, lights flashing. "They're here."

"Goodnight, Dr. Stark."

"Goodnight." Tony hung up the phone, feeling more than a little stunned, and pointed the approaching EMT down the alleyway. "Slumped mugger, twelve o'clock. Can't miss him."

One of the police officers sauntered up. "So. Took out your own mugger, huh?"

"Yes, sir."

"With a garbage can lid."

"Yup."

"How proactive of you."

"Adrenaline is a hell of a drug, officer."

The EMTs loaded the mugger up on a stretcher, and Tony held out the empty gun, muzzle down, and the bullets. "Here. I emptied it."

The officer pulled an evidence bag out of his pocket and Tony tipped the gun and bullets into it. As the stretcher went by, the officer stopped it and shifted the oxygen mask aside to look at the man's face. He reached into the man's pocket and pulled something out. 

"Do you need me to come in?" Tony asked. "I just have a few phone calls I'll have to make, if that's okay." He was exhausted, and the thought of sitting in an interrogation room for seventeen hours while they processed things made him want to cry, but he'd confessed to assaulting a man.

But the officer just looked at him for a long moment then said, "Did you recognize that man?"

"Uh, no. Should I have?"

"Maybe not. His face has been all over the news. We estimate he's been responsible for over thirteen muggings in this area in the past three months. A few turned violent." The office paused, writing something down in his book. "Give me your information and I'll have Officer Riley drive you home. You'll be getting a call tomorrow about coming in for a statement. Don't leave town."

"Oh. Yes, sir. That would be great. I'm glad I could - uh - help… apprehend."

"Mhm." The office gave him another look. "Licence? And I'll need your phone number too."

Tony handed over his driver's license, and the officer copied down his address and the license number. When he was done, Tony traded it for his business card with his personal number scribbled on the back. Officer Riley gave Tony a ride back to his apartment, and Tony stumbled to the elevators. As he rode up, his exhaustion was exchanged for anxiety.

What was Bucky doing there? He hadn't seen him since the day he'd left the facility six months ago, and Tony had no way to get in touch with him now and find out what was going on. Tony shoved his key in the lock and slipped inside, dropping his bag on the floor as the door swung shut again.

Bucky was sitting on his couch.

"Hi," Tony said, instead of the four hundred questions he wanted to ask him.

"Hi," Bucky breathed. He pushed up to his feet and all but teleported across the room until he was right in front of Tony. He reached out with one hand and stroked it over Tony's shoulder and down his arm. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"I'm fine. Just tired. The police are going to call me tomorrow about making a statement. They let me go home, though. Apparently he was wanted, so they seem inclined to believe it was self-defense."

"Good." Bucky guided Tony to the squishy armchair in the corner and eased him down into it. "Can I get you anything?" He crouched low, eyes fixed with concern on Tony's face.   


"No. Yes. Answers," Tony said.

"Anything. Ask away."

"Why - no wait - weren't you travelling? The people at the transition house said you'd moved out to travel, several months ago."

"I was. It was good." There was something unsaid woven through Bucky's voice. "I came back about six weeks ago, though."

"Buck…" Tony reached out and pushed a strand of Bucky's hair back from his face. He looked good - Tony had to admit that - he'd filled out, fleshed out, and his skin was smooth and clear, his bright eyes proving he was well fed. A tinge of unwelcome jealousy flared in Tony's belly as he thought about Bucky meeting other people in his travels, other donors, just as willing as Tony was. "Why are you here?"

"For you. I thought that much was obvious."

"I - I thought you were going to take more time, make sure it's real… I don't know…"

Bucky sighed, dropped his eyes to the floor then rolled them back up, glowing with determination now. "Look, I have a life here, now. I have a job, I'm on the registry, I get regular blood deliveries to my apartment, where I live - properly and everything. I've got everything you wanted for me - a new life, a second chance. All that's missing is you in it. If you don't feel that way about me, okay, that's okay. All I'm asking is to be able to look out for you, sometimes. Have your back. You don't have to see me if you don't want to."

Tony let his hands fall to Bucky's chest, resisting the urge to grab handfuls of his shirt and pull him in closer. "But how do you know? I was your doctor, I get that you feel… protective of me, or whatever, but - but for it to be more…"

"Do you want that? More?"

"Buck… you know how I feel." Tony reached out and took Bucky's hand. He placed it flat on his chest. "You can hear my heartbeat, after all. Pretty sure I've wanted you from day one. But that's not -"

Bucky sat up on his knees and cupped Tony's face between his hands. "Do I have any trust banked?"

"What?" Tony laughed.

"Do I have any trust in the bank?" A small smile ghosted across Bucky's face, and Tony laughed. He leaned forward until their foreheads touched.

"Yes. All of it. Of course I trust you."

"Okay, well I want to spend it all at once."

"Bucky…"

"On getting you to believe me when I say that I love you."

"Oh god," Tony choked out.

"Please, Tony. You don't have to love me back. Just believe that I do, please."

"Fuck… Bucky, of course I love you back." Tony choked out something between a sob and a laugh. "Idiot." He pressed forward, tilting his chin until Bucky lifted up and let their lips slot together. Bucky's mouth was cool, firm pressure against his own, giving no ground but not claiming, either, letting Tony lead things further. And further he went, unable to hold back now that he finally had Bucky in his arms. Maybe it was time he took something for himself, when Bucky was offering it so freely. 

They parted with a gasp from Tony and a quiet chuckle from Bucky. Tony reached out and steadied himself with a hand on either of Bucky's shoulders, but Bucky didn't let him tip forward. Instead, he stood, scooping under Tony's back and knees as he moved then shifted back until he was sitting on the couch, Tony arranged in his lap. They curled together, wound up in a knot.

"I guess it's a good idea for me to keep you around," Tony said, burrowing closer into Bucky's hold. "Keep an eye on you."

"An eye on  _ me?"  _ Bucky said, incredulous. "You were just getting mugged!"

"I had it handled."

"Handled?! You were talking about Pokemon."

Tony huffed. "That's my secret mugging strategy… confuse them into submission…"

"You are hopeless." Bucky took Tony by the face again and kissed him soundly. "Absolutely hopeless."

A fire flickered to life in Tony's core. "You know… an hour ago, all I wanted was to come home and immediately collapse into bed."

Bucky arched a brow. "And now?"

"I still do… but not alone." Tony pulled Bucky in again and kissed him thoroughly, pushing it dirty when Bucky parted his lips. "But I need a shower first. I'm disgusting."

Bucky grinned. "I wasn't going to say anything, but…" He kissed Tony again. "You stink."

"I thought you liked the way I smell?"

"I do," Bucky rumbled, low, voice digging deep into Tony's gut. "But right now you don't smell like you. You smell like  _ other vampires."  _

The jealousy should have been scary, or at the very least frustrating, but instead it was the hottest thing Tony had ever heard. He jumped up and pulled Bucky up with him. "Your turn to sit in the bathroom while I shower."

"Or…"

Tony quirked an eyebrow.

"Maybe it's my turn to wash your hair?"

"You want to join me?"

Bucky shrugged. "If you don't mind."

"Okay." Tony took Bucky by the hand and led the way to the bathroom. Bucky leaned back against the counter as Tony started the water. It was so much like those first few weeks - between illicit surgeries and secret conversations, crammed together in the little bathroom. But this time, Tony was able to run his hands up Bucky's stomach, peeling his shirt up as he revealed more and more bare skin. "Stunning…" he mused.

Bucky twitched under his hands. "You don't think it's weird? All blue and silver. I should be pink like you, alive."

Tony tipped his chin up to meet Bucky's eyes. "You're beautiful. And you  _ are _ alive." Tony flattened his hand over Bucky's chest, feeling the slow, steady thump of his heart. "I know because you almost died in my arms."

Bucky tugged his shirt the rest of the way off, then pulled Tony in close, nuzzling against his cheek before drawing him into a kiss. Not wanting to waste the hot water, Tony forced himself to step back and pull his own shirt off, following it with his pants and underwear. There was no point in being shy - he'd seen Bucky naked plenty of times, it was only fair. 

But Bucky didn't follow him to the edge of the shower stall, eyes fixed wide and unblinking on Tony's chest. 

"Oh. Right. Haven't seen this before." Tony dropped his chin and traced the edge of the livid white scar that cut across his chest. "Bit messed up, but all the important stuff works like it's supposed to." He shook his hips with a wink.

Bucky took a step forward and reached out to lock iron fingers around Tony's wrist. He drew him in. His other hand came to Tony's chest and he brushed light fingertips over the scar. "It's so close to your heart," he croaked out.

Tony covered Bucky's hand with his own, pushed it flat. "I'm fine."

"How can you still let me bite you, after that? How can you trust any of us?"

"Because I want to." Tony sighed and stepped back under the spray of the shower, drawing Bucky with him. "I made the choice to. I think… in the beginning, I didn't care if I lived or died. Setting up the facility didn't feel like something I was doing, it was something that had to happen. I didn't look past it. I got my medical degree so I could set things up properly. I honestly didn't see myself working there as a doctor. But once I started… it felt like it was where I was supposed to be. And when I got attacked, somehow that just made it all feel more right. Like if I was supposed to be done, it would have killed me or turned me. I don't know. It's never been about trust, I guess. I gave up on trust and just expected it to kill me someday. I'm told that sort of reckless self-endangerment is hard to insure, but it sure gets good results."

"Tony…" Every time Bucky said his name like that, something deep in Tony clenched and released, flooding himself with pleasant warmth.

Tony cupped his cheeks, hot water cascading down his back, then ran his thumbs along Bucky's lips, pressing in to feel the points of his fangs. "I trust you, though." He pressed hard enough that pain sprung from the pad of his thumb and a drop of blood leaked out. Bucky sucked his thumb between his lips, seemingly on instinct, then groaned around it. 

"God…"

"Do you need to feed? How long's it been?"

Bucky smiled and took Tony by the wrist, sucking once before releasing his thumb. He licked his lips then bent and kissed Tony's forehead. "I'm fine. I want to, but later? I don't need to. I get blood delivered now, like a good member of society."

Tony's chest twinged with jealousy but he bit his tongue. 

Bucky, it seemed saw it pass across his face, though. He pressed close, skin hot and slick from the shower. "I don't live feed, Tony. Only you. I don't want anyone else. Bags only. But I'm well fed now, all the time. I didn't know it could feel like this. You didn't just save my undead life, you gave me one. And something worth living for."

Overwhelmed with emotion, all Tony could do was push closer, wrapping his arms around Bucky's waist and pulling him in. They kissed, the heat from the water settling deep, until Bucky backed off. He took the shampoo bottle and squirted some in his hand. "C'm'ere." He twisted around so Tony was leaned back against his chest, kissed him on the tip of his ear, then started scrubbing the shampoo into his hair. 

It was heavenly. Tony had never been touched so softly, so affectionately. "I… maybe kind of get why people like being taken care of so much," he said softly, and Bucky laughed and kissed him again. The kissed turned heated, and that heat flushed down to Tony's cock while Bucky turned them around, dropping his kisses to Tony's throat as his fingers combed the shampoo out of his hair. They both rushed through the rest of the shower, unable to keep their hands and mouths off each other. Tony flicked the taps off when they were done and they stumbled out, skipping the towels to trip directly into Tony's bedroom and tumble onto the bed in a soggy mess. 

Bucky buried his head in Tony's neck. "Now you smell like you. Fantastic."

Tony hummed in soft pleasure and let his hands wander all over Bucky's back. 

"I have a confession to make," Bucky said.

"Oh so you wait til you get to see my dick and then you have a confession to make." Tony wound his fingers through Bucky's hair, nipping at his jaw.

Bucky laughed and shifted, grinding a little so Tony could feel the hard line of his erection down his thigh. "The peppermint thing? It kind of burned at first, but then… you always smelled like you  _ plus  _ peppermint and I -" Bucky swallowed. "Got kind of - well I hoarded peppermint stuff and smelled it when I jacked off," he finally confessed in a rush.

"Oh my god. That's - that's kind of hot." Tony thought about Bucky with his hand around his cock, breathing in a smell that reminded him of Tony. "Correction. That's really hot." He grinned. "Want me to put on the peppermint antiperspirant?"

Bucky hummed and nuzzled against his neck again. "No. Just you. This time."

Tony pushed until Bucky rolled onto his back and Tony could shift up between his legs. "What do you want?"

Bucky opened his mouth, fangs gleaming, then closed it again. He tilted his head to the side. "I don't know. I want you?"

Tony smiled and kissed the inside of Bucky's thigh. "You have me. What else? What do you like?"

Bucky shook his head, smiling. "Tony… I have no idea. You're the first person I've been with in seventy years and the last time I had sex, I was human and messily loosing my virginity at nineteen to a girl in a pink skirt before her dad came home. It's… been a while."

"Oh." Tony blinked down at him. "Oh. Well. We don't have to have sex."

Bucky quirked an eyebrow. "Tony. It's  _ been a while."  _

"Right. Okay. Well then." Tony clapped his hands together. "Prepare to have your mind blown."

Bucky laughed and used his heel to hook Tony's back and tug him down on top of him. "I don't care what we do, Tony, as long as we're together."

On a mission now, Tony kissed his way along Bucky's chin then dropped his mouth to his throat. He bit down over the same spot Bucky had drunk from him, so many months ago, and Bucky groaned, hips kicking up. So his vampire had a biting kink - no surprise there. Tony wriggled lower, sinking his teeth in everywhere he wanted, biting down hard, knowing it would barely sting to Bucky, but wanting to leave marks. Light blushes of silver bloomed under his teeth, dotting patches all across Bucky's chest. Bucky writhed and bucked under him, rolling his hips, one hand cupping the back of Tony's neck, the other fisted in the sheets. 

There was a drive to rush, to capture what they could in the shortest amount of time possible, but they weren't hiding anymore, weren't sneaking touches and glances under the watchful eyes of the facility - they had time. Tony kept repeating it to himself:  _ You have time.  _

But still, the taste of Bucky's skin was intoxicating, the firm, smooth coolness of him stretched out under him, and he couldn't resist slithering even lower and taking Bucky's hard, leaking cock in his hand. Bucky gasped, rolled his hips again, and Tony licked at the head of his cock, suckling and kissing him until he took his cock all the way in his mouth and slid down. 

"Oh, fuck,  _ Tony,"  _ Bucky whined, shuddering. "That feels so good."

Tony pulled off and licked his lips. "Don't hold back, baby. Come whenever you want. I want you to just let go." He dove back in without waiting for an answer. Bucky was solid, warm from the heat of Tony's mouth and the shower, and throbbing on Tony's tongue. Tony sucked him down deep then shifted back then sucked him down again, until Bucky was a moaning, writhing mess. 

Tony slid the hand that wasn't wrapped around Bucky's cock up his inner thigh, and when that made Bucky gasp and push into the touch, he petted higher. He cupped Bucky's balls gently then ran his thumb behind them, pressing down on his perineum and teasing his prostate from the outside. 

"God, Tony, your  _ hands -"  _

Tony sucked harder, picking up his pace when Bucky's leg started shaking. He ran the pad of his thumb down over Bucky's hole, teasing him.

"Tony - I'm -" was the only warning Bucky gave before his fingers twisted in Tony's hair and he kicked his hips up, flooding Tony's mouth with his come. Tony swallowed and swallowed, come spilling out of his lips, almost coming himself from the sinful noises Bucky was making. 

Tony pulled off and licked his lips, flopping sideways on the bed, and Bucky wasted no time folding over him and pressing him into the sheets.

"You're amazing," Bucky growled, nipping at him and gasping against his skin. "Amazing. Tony - fuck -"

"Bite me." Tony gripped two handfuls of Bucky's hair. "Please, come on -" He was so hard, rutting against Bucky's thigh, and he wanted to feel that pain-pleasure rush, that overwhelming pull.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Please," Tony begged. "I need to feel you."

Bucky nuzzled up under Tony's chin then scented him deeply. He found the right spot, pressed a kiss to Tony's neck, then bit down.

"Oh  _ fuck!"  _ Sensation rocketed through Tony from his head to his toes, on fire with the mix of need and stinging pain and pure pleasure. He grabbed Bucky's hand and guided it to his cock, thrusting up against the tight ring he made. Bucky sucked gently, drawing Tony's blood to the surface, and his head spun. Tears sprung into his eyes from the overwhelming sensation of it all and the flood of emotion at knowing they'd finally found their way to each other, that Bucky did want him, did love him, and he wouldn't be doing this alone anymore. "I love you," he gasped out, which made Bucky shudder on top of him, fangs drawing back to be replaced with gentle kitten licks, and that was what spun Tony over the edge. 

Bucky kissed and licked him through the aftershocks, then shuffled down and cleaned up his come with his tongue. Tony shivered and whimpered, barely conscious. Once he was clean, Bucky sat up and cupped Tony's face between his hands. "You okay?"

Tony swallowed around his dry tongue. "Fantastic." 

Bucky stretched out beside him and petted him in long slow movements, up his side and down to his leg. He kissed Tony's shoulder.

Tony groaned and rolled over to bury his face in Bucky's chest. "How are you so perky? I'm exhausted."

"Your blood always riles me up. Besides, you got mugged. You deserve to rest, Tony. I'll be here in the morning. I'll be here forever, if you'll have me."

Tony found Bucky's face with his fingers and petted him. "Forever. Yeah. I'm calling in to work tomorrow. And the day after. Maybe like a week." He peeled his eyes open and looked up at Bucky looking down at him, beautiful and loving and  _ here.  _ "You're here," he breathed.

"I'm here. And nothing you say is getting rid of me, this time."

"I was stupid last time. I don't want you to leave, never wanted you to leave. Stay."

Bucky kissed him on the end of his nose. "Sleep."

Tony did. He woke up several hours later to find Bucky still there, asleep as well, deathly still. When Tony shifted on the bed, Bucky's hand curled around his hip possessively. Tony watched him sleep in the late night dark of his bedroom. It seemed impossible that they had found their way here, after all this time, after everything Bucky had been through. And after everything Tony had screwed up. "I don't deserve you," he murmured.

"Shut up," Bucky growled, not even cracking an eye, and Tony laughed as he dragged him back down into his arms. Tony kissed his rumbling chest and burrowed down, sleep pulling at his edges again. 

"'S'okay," Tony said, falling slack. "I don't mind cheating the system. If it means I get you? Fuck 'deserve.'"

Bucky didn't say anything, just tucked Tony closer under his arm, warm and safe and held, and Tony closed his eyes and let himself fall back to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! <3
> 
> I have an idea for an alternate take on this story that won't leave me alone, lol. It's divergent at the end of chapter four. My plan, if I do manage to write it, is to post it as a separate fic in the series I've made, with the same first four chapters and then the second half changed dramatically. I just liked both ideas and I couldn't choose! If you're interested in that alternate take, you should subscribe to the _series_ because subbing to this fic won't tell you when the other fic in the series gets posted. (^_^)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm on tumblr (and most places) as festiveferret!


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